#her name is jennifer summers

[shimmieshimmiekokopop]

so like this is my td oc😭😭 she's miserable and bitter and hates everybody and everything and i want her dead

[theriverdalereviewer]

just finished reading this book called the list by siobhan vivian and you know what I recommend even though I found the ending to be lackluster

[joelswritingmistress]

Neighbors With Benefits: Part 1 (Joel Miller x f!reader)

Part of the #hotdilfsummerchallenge (I will be adding more and tag the Masterlist) Thank you @hellishjoel for putting on this contest. It's a lot of fun!

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: Roughly 5000

Warning: Dilfy smut, age gap (23 & 42)

Mid-June, 2024. The first summer back home upon college graduation. You knew there would be an adjustment period and while you didn't necessarily feel unhappy, there was a strangeness that left you with feelings you couldn't quite pinpoint. This was your childhood home, your hometown, your room - but still, somehow it felt foreign.

You hung up the maroon cap and gown that showed off the primary color of Texas A+M, the college where you had spent the last four years studying your ass off to get a degree in criminal justice. At twenty-three years old after spending the last few years in a little off-campus apartment with some friends, you were feeling both aggravated and nostalgic upon returning to your parents' house in the suburbs. They were great and you got along just fine; but the freedoms that had gone along with renting your own place were now reeled in a bit tighter. At the very least you knew your mother would likely stay awake on the nights you were out late. Still, you appreciated how much they cared about you.

You moved to your bedroom window and flung it open to let in some air to get rid of the stuffiness that lingered in the house. Immediately, your eyes landed on a man next door standing behind a grill as smoke filtered up above him in a faint, little cloud. He flipped a burger with a pair of metal tongs and took a sip from what looked like a bottle of beer.

"Hey, honey."

You jumped at your mother's voice as if you'd been caught doing something wrong. "Hey." You pressed your eyebrows together and motioned out the window as she entered the room. "Who's that?"

"Oh, I guess it never came up in conversation," your mother said with a shrug, "That's our new neighbor. He moved in back in January."

You glanced back out the window.

"He’s a bit too old for you,” she teased with a laugh.

You whipped around and made a face. "I'm not... I'm not checking him out. I'm just asking why there's a stranger in the Wilsons' backyard." You smirked and raised your eyebrows, "Maybe if my mother told me things I wouldn't have to play detective."

"Isn't that what you got your degree in criminal justice for?"

You chuckled, knowing she would most certainly outwit you in a verbal battle. "And I'm 23 years old. No one's too old for me anymore."

"Well, in that case I hear they just built a nice, new nursing home down the road with plenty of widowed men. I can drive you there if you'd like."

You let out a hearty laugh. “I’ll pass."

The two of you giggled and your mother continued, "Will you be joining your father and I for dinner tonight? We were thinking of just going to Chili's and then heading to a play at the little theater downtown. The kids are putting on Grease."

You smiled as your phone vibrated with a text from your best friend. "It's Holly."

"So, I guess the answer is going to be no," your mother suspected. She smirked and got the hint. “Keep in touch.”

"Okay," you agreed and then cleared your throat when she turned to go. "Mom, what's his name?"

"Huh?"

"The neighbor," you went on, "I should probably introduce myself since I'm going to be a resident of 45 Harding Drive again."

"Joel," her mother replied, "Joel Miller."

Your parents left soon after and so you wandered out to the back steps, waiting for them to take off first before popping open a beer. The ice cold beverage tasted better than normal because of the incoming summer heat that was supposed to really strike the following morning. With a content sigh, you leaned your elbows back on the top step of the set of four that led from the back door into the oversized backyard.

"Jennifer?" a deep, scratchy voice made you jump for the second time that night. You put a hand on your chest and glanced off to the side when you realized a man had called out your mother's name.

The neighbor, you thought, feeling your stomach knot up.

You cleared your throat and rose to your feet, leaving the beer on the top step. "No… I’m (Y/N)." You took a few steps in his direction though he made his way almost all the way to the steps.

"(Y/N)?" His features became clear when he stepped into a small, back light beside the door. The man flashed a friendly, boyish grin from beneath a trim beard. "Tim and Jen’s daughter?"

You looked down sheepishly and smiled before lifting your eyes to meet his stare. "Yeah."

He’s hot, your inner monologue informed you, as if your cheeks hadn't suddenly grown hot.

His eyes shifted to the beer and his grin widened even more before he extended a hand. "I'm Joel... your neighbor."

"Nice to meet you." You gave a closed-mouth smile and took in his appearance, consciously telling herself not to stare. His plain white t-shirt showed off his broad chest and shoulders

Joel cleared his throat. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine," you assured him and then cleared your throat, "Do you want a beer or something?"

A smirk twisted onto his face., "No thanks. I was actually just coming over to see if I could borrow some butter."

"Oh..." You glanced over your shoulder at the back door and then back to Joel.

"You don't have to," he said reassuringly, unable to keep the grin from his face. "You don't even know me yet so-"

"No.” You cut him off, "No, it's fine."

"Are you sure?" Joel's voice cut through you like a knife and he kept his eyes firmly locked on yours.

You nodded, unable to look away for a moment and then waved him inside.

"Don't forget your brew here, honey." He reached down and scooped up the beer as you flung the back door open.

You smiled again, "Thanks."

Joel nodded and followed you in, before glancing around at the modest but modern kitchen. "You, uh... you even old enough to drink this shit?" He motioned to the beer.

You rolled your eyes, "I can show you my ID if that makes you feel any better." You flung open the refrigerator, "I know my parents are going to treat me like I'm in high school again."

"Well... they're just trying to protect you," Joel said. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-three." You glanced over her shoulder at him, somewhat pleased to catch him staring - or so you thought. It prompted him to look elsewhere.

"Here." You removed a stick of butter and crossed the room to hand it to him. When the butter landed in his hand you decided to be bold and didn't immediately let it go, "How old are you?"

He chuckled before holding a wicked smirk and again held her captive with his playfully intense eyes. "How old do you think I am?"

You stared back, somewhat used to gaining control over the guys you had dated or been interested in in the past. Already, this time you felt a bit outmatched and part of it was your instant attraction to him. When Joel took one step in her direction, you swallowed hard and gave a random answer.

"Thirty-two?"

Joel laughed a little louder, putting a hand on his stomach. He ran the other hand through his messy brown hair and pointed. "You're so full of shit."

You smiled at him, "I was thinking more of thirty-eight, thirty-nine."

He sucked his teeth and gave you a look up-and-down before smiling wide again. When he didn't say anything in response you flat out asked, "Am I right?"

"Forty-two," Joel finally informed you after a long pause.

"Over the hill then?"

He snickered and then motioned to the fridge, "Ya know... I will have that beer if you don't mind."

You smiled before reopening the fridge to fetch one for him. When you placed a bottle of Bud Lite in his hand he used the counter to pop the top rather than twist it. When the dented bottle cap fell to the floor and danced in circles for a moment you glanced back up to find him continuing to stare as he took a long swig from the bottle.

Joel wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Your dad going to notice that a few of these are missing?"

"They're mine," you informed him, "And I'm not-"

"A kid, I know..." Joel rolled his eyes now and the two of you shared a laugh, "Believe me when you're my age you'll love that someone will accuse you of being younger."

"I'm sure I will."

He reached down and scooped up the cap from the ground and then held it out in his palm. When you went to reach for it he closed his hand and smiled playfully.

"I'll take it," Joel offered, "Don't want you to get caught drinking these things when your parents come home." He continued to tease you about your age.

"You know, I could've guessed you were fifty."

He laughed out loud. "Smart mouth on you," Joel flashed his index finger at her with the hand that held the bottle, "I like it."

You looked down and laughed again, feeling your cheeks grow hot again from his remark.

"Anyway, I should be getting back." Joel continued to smile, almost triumphantly and winked. "It was nice meeting you."

"It was nice meeting you too.”

He held your gaze for an extra second, forcing him to smirk a final time before heading out the back door.

"Thanks for the beer," he said casually, "I'll see ya around."

8:15 pm - the following evening

"Sorry I couldn't make it out last night," Holly said to you. The two of you sat side by side at barstools down at one of the local bars in town. "My boss can be a real pain in the ass sometimes."

"It's fine. I had the house to myself so I kind of just had some time to chill and binge watch some old shows."

"Sounds terrible."

You laughed and shrugged. "It was alright."

"Well, here's to... summer?" Holly raised her martini glass and you tapped her beer bottle gently against it.

"To potentially the weirdest summer of my life."

"Why's that?"

You shrugged, "I don't know. Being back home doesn't feel so 'at home' anymore."

"Give it time." Holly sipped her drink, "In a month it'll feel like you never left."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Hey, it's not so bad. I'm here." She smiled and raised her eyebrows, "Jill and Molly should be home within the week too. We can get the old crew back together before we all get real jobs and have to do shitty adult stuff."

"I'll drink to that," you agreed, taking a longer swig of the beer. You sighed and began to peel at the blue Bud Lite label, letting your mind drift to the night before with Joel. You envisioned him snapping the cap off the top of the beer bottle, using the counter. A smile crossed lingered on your face.

"Ooohh... someone's checking us out," Holly commented, "Or maybe they know you..." Her eyebrows pressed together and she motioned using her head toward a table in the corner of the bar.

"Oh shit." You couldn't contain your response but realized it must've sounded out of place.

"What?" Her friend asked, "Do you know him?"

"That's my neighbor," you informed her, "New neighbor."

Joel smirked and gave a wave but quickly entertained a conversation he was having with two other men at the small, corner table.

"He's kind of a Dilf."

You snickered and shrugged, unable to take your eyes off of him. When Joel glanced back in your direction you looked away and quickly took a sip of your.

"You think he's hot," Holly suspected with a laugh.

"What?" You shook your head, "No... I mean he may have some Dilf qualities or something like you just said but…” The sentence drifted off.

"Mm-hmm..." She continued to stare at her friend with playfully accusing eyes.

"Stop," you joked, "I just met him last night."

"Last night?" Holly perked up, "And..."

"And what?"

"You tell me."

You laughed again, "He came over to the house because he needed some butter."

"More like some sugar," she winked and glanced up toward a television that had a baseball game on in front of them.

You let out a hearty laugh and shook your head.

"He keeps looking over here." Holly’s voice perked out, "Oh! He's getting up," Holly whispered, stalking him for a moment with her eyes.

You glanced over and felt your stomach twist in knots when he headed in their direction.

"So you are over twenty-one," Joel cracked a wide smile and tapped the back of her chair as he continued to walk by.

"Twenty-three," you called after him, smiling wide.

He glanced over his shoulder, winking once before continuing on around a corner toward the bathrooms.

You let out a sigh and Holly turned back around.

"What the hell are you waiting for?" her friend asked. Before you could attempt to plead your case Holly went on, "He's hot... and he's totally flirting with you."

"He's not flirting with me."

"That was a Frank Sinatra-worthy wink."

You shook your head, laughing again. "Where do you come up with these things?"

"You're glowin. You're crushing on this guy. Who cares if he's your neighbor. Get on that."

"He's forty-two," you lowered your voice.

Holly raised her eyebrows and glanced toward the doorway where Joel had just walked through before returning her attention to her friend.

"Forget it." You sipped your drink and tried to pretend like you were nterested in the game on the television.

"At least admit you're crushing."

She turned to her and shook her head, "Fine... he's hot. Okay?" You focused on the screen for as long as she could and tried to pretend not to notice when Joel rounded back into the bar. You let out a deep breath as he crossed behind you and felt a rush when he came up beside you to flag down the bartender.

"Another round?" the middle-aged bartender asked, already reaching for a beer.

"Please,” Joel said with a nod, "You can put it on the tab." He turned to you, "Any interest in playing darts over here?" He nodded toward a dart board in the corner.

"Sure."

"Don't feel obligated." He forced your eyes back to his and continued to stare into them.

"I don't." You felt that intense paralysis again and couldn't turn away. When the bartender came back with the round of beers for Joel, you felt relieved and let out a breath.

"Get these two what they want," Joel added to the bartender, "Next round's on me when you finish those."

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"It's fine. I owe you one from last night." He headed back to the small table with his friends and Holly finally snapped you out of your daze.

"I thought you just gave him butter," she whispered with a giggle, "What was last night?"

You swallowed hard and rose to your feet, prompting Holly to do the same. "I offered him a beer and he took it," she said, "It was nothing... believe me. If I had anything interesting to share I would tell you."

Your legs felt heavy as you crossed the dark bar that was scattered with only a handful of other people. While the two other men began collecting darts and erasing the chalkboard to the side, Joel stood staring with his elbow on the table. For a moment everything else was in the background and you could only focus on him.

Shit... Any wit she had going for her had betrayed her. The instant, intense attraction you had to him was completely clouding your judgment. You felt like you were about to enter a wolf den, though you didn't at all mind playing the part of Little Red Riding Hood.

The anxiety-ridden feeling you had had leading up to the game of darts diminished as the night went on. You played a few games, swapping teammates several times, beginning with a 'boys versus girls' theme and then pairing off randomly when one game ended.

"He's going to fuck it up, you watch," Joel taunted as his friend lined up, closing one eye as he released the dart, only sending it clunking off the board and to the ground. "You didn't even hit the fuckin' board." His words drew laughter from everyone and the man that missed stumbled to retrieve it, chuckling as he went.

"I'm fucked up," Skip, the older robust man, remarked as he struggled to pick the dark up from the floor.

"Ya think?" Joel joked, continuing to sip on his beer.

"It's about time I get this man home to his wife and let her deal with him," the other man, Charlie, chuckled from behind a pair of alcohol-induced crimson cheeks. "Can't hold his liquor."

Skip huffed a breath and closed his eyes with a hand on his head. "The old lady's going to be mad at me. Especially when I tell her we've been hanging out with these lovely ladies." He motioned to you and Holly, laughing at himself and making the others do the same.

"I'd leave that part out if you knew what was good for ya," Charlie informed him with another laugh. "Come on Skippy. It's past your bed time."

"Game over?" Holly asked you.

"I guess so." You raised her eyebrows and smiled.

"Charlie, you guys to get home?" Joel asked.

"It's just a quarter mile down the road," Charlie waved a hand. He smiled, "Good night ladies."

"Goodnight," you both said at the same time before Holly turned to you.

"I'm heading to the bathroom. Be right back." She raised her eyebrows, noting it would give you and Joel a moment alone and you tried to play it off coolly.

"Okay." She watched a moment as Holly made her way down the bar and around the corner.

"Hope I didn't kill your girls night," Joel said.

"No." You turned back to him and leaned an elbow on the table, "We were just bored. Had to get out of the house."

"Mmm..." He slid back down into a seat and you took upon herself to join him as you waited for Holly.

Joel leaned both elbows on the table to straddle his beer, "You're probably used to night clubs filled with young guys just dying to buy you a drink. This has to be fuckin' lame."

"I was over that scene by my junior year," you told him with a laugh as you shook your head. "They were all the same with their cheesy cologne and gelled up hair."

Joel huffed a laugh and took a sip of his drink. "Sick of that shit huh?"

"Very." You mirrored his position and continued to sip on the beer you had been milking for the better part of an hour, "I'm kind of over the party scene... and the being at home scene."

"You've been home for one fuckin' day." He raised his eyebrows, "Get over it. You're saving money."

You nodded, "Yeah... yeah you're right."

"I know I am." He smiled, a charming arrogance radiating out of him.

When your phone buzzed in your pocket you jumped and quickly removed it, finding a text message from Holly.

I'm getting in my car. Snuck out the back. Have fun. You'll thank me later.

When you looked back up Joel was grilling you with his eyes. You wondered if he had managed to read the message or not. You cleared her throat. "Holly," you said simply.

"You guys need to go?"

You opened her mouth to speak, still unsure if he had seen what your friend wrote but decided to chance it and lie. "She... got sick. She's on her way home."

"She okay?"

You nodded. “Just a little embarrassed I think and decided to go." You took a sip to buy yourself some time in case he asked any more questions. When he didn't you tried to change the subject. "This place is dead."

"What's so bad about the college scene?" Joel asked.

"Huh?"

"The young guys, the night clubs..."

"Oh... nothing, I guess." You cleared her throat feeling like he was trying to read your mind. Again, your face felt flush with heat and you continued, "They're just... all the same. There's no appeal anymore. When I was eighteen I thought it was cool sneaking into bars and all that." You smiled and shook her head before looking him in the eye. "This is more my speed."

Joel stared back and didn't immediately say anything.

You almost couldn't take the quiet stalemate. The sexual attraction for Joel burned in your chest and in that moment, in the quiet corner of the bar, it was hard to fight it. All the same, you felt like you had to be reading his body language correctly in assuming he was feeling something too. Still, the fact that he was your older neighbor, who you didn't know very well, lingered in the back of your mind.

Getting involved with Joel would satisfy your instant craving for him but beyond that you knew it could only lead to making both of your lives more complicated.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom," you told him, when you couldn't contain your feelings any longer. It was the only thing you could say without leaping across the table and initiating a make-out session that played out animalistically in your mind.

"You gunna disappear on me too?" he joked, though you could see there was a hint of seriousness in his piercing eyes behind the wicked smile that hadn't left his face all evening.

"Not a chance." You felt embarrassed by the bold nature of your words, but took a deep breath and made the long walk across the bar into the restroom area. When you pushed open the door you felt relieved that no one else was in there and quickly made your way to the sink to pat some water on her face. You let out a breath, leaning both of her hands on the counter and then took in your appearance to make sure you was satisfied with the way you looked.

I'm being ridiculous, you thought. I'm too old to feel this out of control over a guy... or a man.

Joel was a man. He wasn't at all like the college boys you had been surrounded by who loved to crush beer cans on their heads, brag about how many consecutive beer pong games they'd won and worst of all when they threw the cheesiest lines at you and your friends to try to get laid. Joel didn't have to say or do anything in particular. He could simply look at you the right way and you found yourself ready to obey any request or demand he threw your way.

I’m in over my head, you thought, but I don't care.

You took in another deep breath and felt like you had the quick break that you needed to hold a sensible conversation with him without the constant interference of your out-of-whack hormones.

"Okay," you whispered to yourself and fiddled with your hair before pulling the door open to head back into the short, dark hallway. When Joel rounded the corner at the same time from the bar both of you stopped abruptly.

His eyes stalked the length of your body before finally re-settling on your gaze.

"Checking to make sure I didn't bail?" you joked, nervously laughing just after. Your tongue danced along your bottom lip, and you couldn't help but look him up and down the way he had just done to you.

Joel swallowed hard, tipping his mouth up into a half-smirk before walking past the men's room door in your direction.

You didn't have time to process all of the questions in your mind because he marched up and planted his lips against yours, immediately penetrating them with his tongue as his hands successfully shoved you up against the door to the women's room. It opened a few inches beneath the force.

You felt an explosion of adrenaline filter through your body as you kissed him back even more savagely than in your daydreams.

Joel pushed the door all the way open with one hand, not separating himself from you as he gripped your ass with his free hand and pushed his hips firmly against yours.

You tangled a hand in his hair, kissing him back with a heated passion that you didn't bother to try masking now that he had initiated the fantasy that had been playing out in your mind since you had him.

He moaned into your mouth before taking a breath and crushing his lips back against yours. Your back collided with the tile wall at the back of the bathroom, and you arched your neck as he began to ravage you, sliding a hand down the front of your pants while gripping your face with the other to kiss you hard again.

It all was happening so fast. You struggled to keep up but couldn't process a conscious thought when his first two fingers slid inside of you.

You bit down on your lip in a break in the kiss and spread your legs wider to give him more access.

Joel left a single kiss on her lips and spoke against them in a husky whisper, "Let it out honey," he kissed you again, "Let it out."

You knew the bar was nearly empty and there wasn't another woman that had been there. Even if there had been you didn't know that you would have cared. When his fingers twitched, arcing perfectly in his technique to make your entire lower body shiver with pleasure, you groaned.

"Fuck Joel," your whined his name, desperate for his tongue to dominate your again as he continued to finger you relentlessly until you felt like you were going to explode.

Joel's arousal heightened when he traced your lips with his thumb of his free hand, prompting you to take the tip of it into your mouth.

"God," he closed his eyes relished in the feeling, pushing his fingers deeper into you.

You whimpered again, writhing beneath his touch and attempted to reach for the belt buckle on his pants. "I want you."

He removed his hand from beneath your slick panties and placed his hands against the wall on either side of you as you managed to undo his buckle and shove his pants down off his hips.

Instinctively, you dropped to your knees, taking in as much of him as you could. Joel moaned and bucked his hips once as he grasped the back of your head with one hand. You looked up, watching his head fall back as his closed eyes pressed shut tighter. Joel allowed you to have your way with him as you continued to go down on him like you might never get another opportunity to do so. "Fuuucckk." He drew the word out, encouraging you to continue as he grabbed a fist full of your hair. "Ohh shit..."

Had anybody walked by the door there would have been no way to mask what was going on. Joel didn't hold back and felt an additional jolt of pleasure when you stroked him with your hand before quietly demanding him to come.

He opened his eyes, letting his mouth hang open as he glanced down, making eye contact with you as you engulfed him again.

"Jesus..." Joel's eyes closed and he felt an unmistakable buildup brewing below his waist. He couldn't ask you to stop, not when he was on the verge of exploding. "I'm gunna come." He shouted the words so loud that you thought for sure that someone had to have heard your encounter from somewhere in the bar. Still, you didn't let up and allowed him to push deep into you, gripping the back of your head with such force that you couldn't have separated your mouth from him if you tried.

He groaned, not attempting to hold back what he was feeling, alternating different curse words in between uneven breaths that ultimately left him panting as you finished him off. With a final breath he released your hair, letting his hand drop toward your face as you wiped a hand across your mouth and slowly rose to your feet.

Joel stood there for several seconds, breathing heavy with his pants at his ankles and a hand still on your face. When he finally came down off the high enough to speak, a chuckle left his mouth and ran a hand through your now-messy hair. "Shit honey... you didn't get yours." He let out another breath and then retrieved his pants from the floor and straightened out his appearance.

"It's alright," you told him with a sly smile, noting the heat that was still brewing between your legs.

He huffed another breath and adjusted himself over his pants before regaining your gaze. Joel smiled and drew his thumb gently under your eye, "Mascara's running. Sorry honey."

You closed her eyes as he continued to wipe the stray makeup away from your face. When you reopened them, Joel sported a half grin and he raised his eyebrows.

"Guess I fuckin' owe ya one."

You snickered, pleased to know that he wasn't at all expecting this to be your only encounter. "Yeah... you do."

Joel took a final, deep breath. "Well... you know where to find me."

"Next door."

"If you see me outside come on over to... borrow some butter or something.”

"Butter..." You snickered and then swallowed hard when he took a step toward her and slid a hand back down the front of your pants.

Joel touched his lips to yours as he spoke and this time gently began to massage up and down your wet center. When your mouth twisted up in a smile and you closed your eyes again he grinned and removed his glistening fingers. "It's a shame this is going to go to waste. Too bad you're so damn good at giving a blowjob. I had all the intentions of fucking you but I could just not ask you to stop.”

"Damn," she said quietly, but smiled, praying he might have it in him to continue.

Joel smiled, reading the disappointment on her face. "I'll be in and out tomorrow," he claimed, "You see me and you feel like bringing me over some butter…”

"I think you’ll definitely need some."

He looked down and made his way to the sink to wash his hands before turning to her with a smile. He ended the night the same way he had the night before, "I'll see ya around."

CLICK HERE FOR PART 2

[r3starttt]

✶ꞌꞋ 𓏸𓈒 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝕶𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓⠀ˑ ⋆ ͡꒱ ۫⠀

ABBY ANDERSON

[ SERIES & COLLECTIONS ]

. ִ . ،  K!NKTOBER This is a series of short blurbs-drabbles-one shots that contain explicit sexual content and potentially triggering themes.

01 BREEDING feat. dom! abby

02 FACE SITTING feat. dom! abby

03 GHOSTFACE feat. dom! abby

04 BONDAGE feat. sub! abby

05 BLADDER CONTROL

06 FULL MOON feat. werewolf! R

07 VAMPIRE feat. ellabs

08 JENNIFER'S BODY

. ִ. ،  CAM - GIRL ; Abby & reader being oh so filthy in bed!

01 abby feat. dildo

02 abby feat. wand

. ִ. ،  CALL ME BY YOUR NAME ; In the summer of 1983, in northern Italy, you and your family spend a holiday with Abby, a young doctoral student that’s trying to learn from your mother.

▍M. list

[ HC'S ]

rockstar

life in the wlf base

cowgirl

strong reader

doctor

domestic life

fluff

modern au

ceo

influencer

[ BLURBS & DRABBLES ]

. ִ. ، NSFW

PUT AWAY THE PRIDE; bsf! Abby feat. comphet. cheating. hate sex. finger sucking. fingering. scissoring. praise kink.

STREET RACER; Abby feat. car sex. finger sucking. fingering. hair tugging.

YOUR WOMAN; lawyer! Abby feat. thigh riding. spanking.

MESSY; Abby feat. messy make out session.

AFTER WORK; Abby feat. fingering. oral.

DRUG DEALER;

01 abby feat. her fem gf

02 abby feat. jealous sex

SUB! ABBY;

01 abby feat. sugar mommy

02 abby feat. strap

. ִ. ، SFW

LADY OF MERCY ; Abby feat. religious guilt. internalized homophobia. suggestive. womp²

GOOD LUCK, BABE! ; Abby feat. comphet womp womp

MAKE IT UP TO ME ; drummer Abby feat. the girl she has to take on another date.

ON YOUR SIDE ; blue collar! Abby feat. comfort after work.

VELVET RING ; Abby feat. shower comfort.

BOOKWORM ; Abby feat. reading for you and explaining the complex of her books.

WARMTH ; Abby feat. comforting insecure reader.

FOOLISH ; Abby being in love with her roommate.

ZINNIA ; Abby feat. bsf who spilled her drunk thoughts.

STRESS ; Abby feat. comforting her stressed girl after a long week.

SICK READER;

01 abby feat. comfort

02 abby feat. cuddling

[ameliathornromance]

Are you the Final Girl?

Slasher!Orc X Reader

Chapter 1

Masterlist

The first month of University was always chaotic and stressful. The first time you had returned back to your accommodation from Summer Holidays, were the most hectic and confusing time of the year – ignoring essays and exams of course – and did nothing to help you settle in. However, for your third and final year of study, you had arrived at your accommodation fully prepared and organised.

Your friends were in shock that you were so relaxed upon moving in, as they had not been as prepared as you had. That and almost all of them took radically different courses from one another, which meant that trying to find times where you could all meet up was difficult to do.

Apart from that, the year went off without a hitch and September passed quickly and without incident… almost.

Finding the time to be with your friends and moving back into your accommodation weren’t the main reasons for your stress. At the start of summer, you had been getting these degrading messages from a blank Instagram account. The users name was just a jumble of letters the profile picture remained blank as per standard issue of every new user that signs up to social media, so there was no way to find out who the person was. You had blocked the account at first, but you soon found another account had been made and continued to send you the same awful messages.

After blocking more and more accounts, seemingly created by the same person, you just resolved to ignore them. No matter what you did, they just seemed to keep coming back with full force.

And now, the messages were coming in faster and stronger since the start of the new year.

As you sat in the park, biting your nails as you examined the messages, wondering what you should do, a well manicured hand snatched your phone from your hand. “What’s this?”

“Jennifer!” You yelped as your friend slumped onto the park bench next to you and began to scroll through your DMs with this person. “Give me my phone!”

But she didn’t, instead, she shuffled further up the bench as you reached for the mobile device. Her heavily makeuped eyes skimmed the messages, her acrylic nails clacking as she scrolled.

“(Y/N), what is this?” Her eyebrows furrowed together as she pointed at you accusingly with the phone. “Who is this person?”

You scoffed, “I wish I knew. They just started berating me at the start of last summer.”

“And you blocked them?”

“Do I look stupid? Of course I did!” You snatched your phone back and turned it off, stuffing it back into your jacket pocket.

“What’s up slags?” Joining Jennifer on the other side of the bench and sitting on the floor, sat Jack and Sydney, your two other friends.

“(Y/N)s getting bullied.” Jennifer said to Sydney.

“What?” Jack whipped his head around to look at you from the floor, his thick eyebrows furrowing in concern.

“I’m not getting bullied.” You sighed, annoyed. “You make it sound so childish when you put it like that.”

Sydney dropped her gym bag on the floor beside her as Jennifer added, “well what else do I call it? Someone pushing you around? Shaking you down?”

“You need to report them to the university then,” Jack said, like it was that simple. Luckily, Sydney explained before you could, “there wouldn’t be any point, if you’re getting picked on, you need to know who’s doing the bullying to stop it. The university won’t do anything otherwise.”

You sighed, sinking back into the bench. “It’s fine. They’ll get bored eventually.” Although that’s what you said, you had little hope for it. What was the likelihood that the messages were going to stop after six whole weeks of sending you degrading messages every day? Blocking clearly wasn’t enough of a deterrent to stop them, so what else would?

“What a pathetic little freak.” Jennifer huffed, crossing her arms. “Who sends messages to someone everyday telling them stuff like that?”

An uncomfortable silence washed over the group. Jack broke it, “hey. This is the first time we’ve all been able to meet up since we got here, right?”

Sydney perked up, “you’re right! Now’s the perfect time to make Halloween plans!”

“Halloween is weeks away.” You said, flatly. It was the final few days of September, but your point still stood, “isn’t it too early to be doing something like that?”

“Oh you’re such a party pooper.” Jennifer gave you a dismissive wave, “we should plan something for the 31st. C’mon, everyone, let’s have a look for events!”

Simultaneously, everyone took their phones out from their pockets and began to search for local events.

“There’s a bar opening all night for the 31st.” Jack suggested, looking up at the other members of your group. “Thoughts?”

“Hmm, let’s make a note of it.” Jennifer said, thoughtfully. “Oh, oh!” She nearly jumped out of her seat. “What about this? An open air film night, right here, in the park.”

“What film are they showing?” You asked, curiously.

“It’s down to a poll,” Jennifer explained, “It’s between Scream and Happy Death Day.”

“Won’t it be too cold?” Sydney raised a thin eyebrow.

“Well, they say to bring a blanket.” Jennifer pursed her glossy lips and frowned. “But it sounds like so much fun.”

“What’s so fun about being cold out in the middle of the night? Wouldn’t you be much rather in a bar and warmed up with alcohol?” Jack gave a chuckle, “personally, I’d take the-”

“Oh no.” Jennifer had turned her attention away from her phone and to the park entrance. “It’s him.”

You looked over your shoulder, following Jennifer’s gaze.

In walked the Rugby team from your university… and amongst them was Malike. He was a tall, broad shouldered Orc with deep, mossy green skin and pitch black hair. It had been pulled back into a high ponytail and slicked back with some kind of product. His tusk on the left side of his face had been chipped, leaving it’s base jagged.

“Jen, you’ve been weird about him since he asked me out.” You said, looking away from him. “Malike took it really well, you don’t have to be so…”

“So what?” Jennifer asked, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “I’m allowed to be worried about who’s asking you out. Especially him. Orcs have awful tempers, who knows what would have happened when you rejected him!” Her voice rang out through the park.

“Jennifer keep your voice down!” Sydney hissed.

But it was too late. Malike had already looked around at your group. He saw you, smiled and waved.

You waved back at him, returning his smile.

“Jennifer’s right.” Jack said, looking at the Orc as if his wave was some kind of offensive gesture. “They’re really violent creatures. And he ditched us after you refused to go out with him.”

It’s not that you disliked Malike by any means. He just wasn’t your type.

Although it was true that he went to go and hang out with his classmates rather than his original friendship group that was you and your friends, you felt like you could hardly blame him.

First, you said no to going out with him and that’s when he began to distance himself from the group. You felt bad at first, but understood why. Soon, Jennifer and the others started asking questions.

You wanted to keep what had happened between you and Malike a secret; the last thing you wanted was to make the friendship between him, you and the others awkward. But it became difficult when all Jennifer could do was complain about his distancing from the whole group and ignoring all of them when they were together. She found it strange that he was fine talking to everyone individually, but not together.

Finally, you got tired of her complaints and told her what happened… and, she went nuts. She told you that you could have gotten yourself killed by rejecting him, then proceeded to have a go at Malike for ‘putting you in a difficult situation.’

Jack told you that Malike’s behaviour was ‘psychopathically guilt-trippy’ and Sydney would just snub him during PE classes they shared.

He stopped talking to any of you after that. He was still friendly with you, even though you didn’t talk anymore. You were the only one who tried to apologise for their behaviour. You truly had no idea that they would react the way that they did, but Malike just gave a sad smile. “No, it’s okay, I get it.”

Jack’s comment brought you back to reality, made you snort. “Jack, you literally asked me out and then ditched me at a bar.”

Jack instantly flared up. “I already told you I was sorry! It’s not my fault that I ate those super spicy-”

“Look, the point is,” Jennifer huffed, “is that you shouldn’t even be nice to him. Who knows what he could have done to you.”

“Where are you getting this from?” You asked her incredulously. “It’s not like he was ever violent when he was friends with us and you only started acting like this after I told you what happened.”

“He also plays rugby.” She added, “y’know rugby players screws get a bit more loose when they hit each other on the heads, right?”

You stood up. “What the hell is wrong with you!? He didn’t do anything wrong!” You gave Jennifer a disgusted expression. “Why are you getting so caught up in what could have happened instead of what did?”

“Because I care about you!” Jennifer rolled her eyes. “You’re being so dramatic, (Y/N), sit down.”

You looked around at your other friends, hoping that they would say something to shut Jennifer down. You knew Jack would be no help, he was on the same page as Jennifer, so you looked to Sydney.

But she was adamantly staring at her phone screen, scrolling through some text messages. It was like she’d never even been listening in on the conversation.

“I can’t believe any of you.” You knew that they were protective of you, but didn’t know that they would be so harsh towards one Orc.

“You know what?” You said. “Forget it.” And with that, you stormed out of the park and away from the group.

“(Y/N)-”

“Leave it Jen.” Sydney told Jennifer.

How did you wind up with such a bunch of judgemental loons like them?

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💙💜🩷 Books for Bisexuality Visibility Month 🩷💜💙

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💜 How incredible is it that I made a list of 99 books for bisexual visibility month, KNOWING there are so many NOT featured on this list? I'm so proud to be bi. Having these characters and stories intertwine with mine warms my heart.

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💙 The Henna Wars - Adiba Jaigirdar 💙 Perfect on Paper - Sophie Gonzales 💙 Imogen, Obviously - Becky Albertalli 💙 Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston 💙 Queens of Geek - Jen Wilde 💙 Just Your Local Bisexual Disaster - Andrea Mosqueda 💙 Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute - Talia Hibbert 💙 Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake - Alexis Hall 💙 A Merry Little Meet Cute - Julie Murphy & Sierra Simone

💜 Leah on the Offbeat - Becky Albertalli 💜 The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid 💜 Radio Silence - Alice Oseman 💜 The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue - Mackenzi Lee 💜 You Exist Too Much - Zaina Arafat 💜 Wolfsong - T.J. Klune 💜 The Pairing - Casey McQuiston 💜 Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail - Ashley Herring Blake 💜 Heartstopper - Alice Oseman

🩷 Going Bicoastal - Dahlia Adler 🩷 Some Girls Do - Jennifer Dugan 🩷 Hani & Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating - Adiba Jaigirdar 🩷 Autoboyography - Christina Lauren 🩷 Written in the Stars - Alexandria Bellefleur 🩷 They Both Die at the End - Adam Silvera 🩷 Cool for the Summer - Dahlia Adler 🩷 Delilah Green Doesn't Care - Ashley Herring Blake 🩷 One Last Stop - Casey McQuiston

💙 I'll Be the One - Lyla Lee 💙 Running With Lions - Julian Winters 💙 Take a Hint, Dani Brown - Talia Hibbert 💙 Felix Ever After - Kacen Callender 💙 Not Your Sidekick - C.B. Lee 💙 Ophelia After All - Racquel Marie 💙 Iron Widow - Xiran Jay Zhao 💙 Something to Talk About - Meryl Wilsner 💙 The Girls I've Been - Tess Sharpe

💜 Iris Kelly Doesn't Date - Ashley Herring Blake 💜 Never Ever Getting Back Together - Sophie Gonzales 💜 Her Royal Highness - Rachel Hawkins 💜 Call Me By Your Name - André Aciman 💜 I Wish You All the Best - Mason Deaver 💜 Mistakes Were Made - Meryl Wilsner 💜 Hang the Moon - Alexandria Bellefleur 💜 Kiss Her Once for Me - Alison Cochrun 💜 The Brightsiders - Jen Wilde

🩷 Wild Beauty - Anna-Marie McLemore 🩷 The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue - Victoria Schwab 🩷 Payback's a Witch - Lana Harper 🩷 A Dowry of Blood - S.T. Gibson 🩷 Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo 🩷 Dark Rise - C.S. Pacat 🩷 If This Gets Out - Sophie Gonzales & Cale Dietrich 🩷 Let's Talk About Love - Claire Kann 🩷 Carry On - Rainbow Rowell

💙 Under the Whispering Door - T.J. Klune 💙 I Kissed Shara Wheeler - Casey McQuiston 💙 Pumpkinheads - Rainbow Rowell 💙 Icebreaker - A.L. Graziadei 💙 This Poison Heart - Kalynn Bayron 💙 A Lot Like Adiós - Alexis Daria 💙 Sorry, Bro - Taleen Voskuni 💙 We Are Okay - Nina LaCour 💙 Count Your Lucky Stars - Alexandria Bellefleur

💜 Hot Dog Girl - Jennifer Dugan 💜 Verona Comics - Jennifer Dugan 💜 They Hate Each Other - Amanda Woody 💜 The Disasters - M.K. England 💜 The Raven Boys - Maggie Stiefvater 💜 You Should See Me in a Crown - Leah Johnson 💜 These Witches Don't Burn - Isabel Sterling 💜 My Dearest Darkest - Kayla Cottingham 💜 City of Shattered Light - Claire Winn

🩷 The Unbroken - C.L. Clark 🩷 Dread Nation - Justina Ireland 🩷 House of Hollow - Krystal Sutherland 🩷 Love & Other Disasters - Anita Kelly 🩷 Ace of Shades - Amanda Foody 🩷 The Lost Girls - Sonia Hartl 🩷 Of Fire and Stars - Audrey Coulthurst 🩷 This Is Kind of an Epic Love Story - Kacen Callender 🩷 Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Sáenz

💙 If You Still Recognise Me - Cynthia So 💙 Melt With You - Jennifer Dugan 💙 The Charm Offensive - Alison Cochrun 💙 That Summer Feeling - Bridget Morrissey 💙 The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School - Sonora Reyes 💙 The Luis Ortega Survival Club - Sonora Reyes 💙 The Fiancée Farce - Alexandria Bellefleur 💙 Flip the Script - Lyla Lee 💙 Role Playing - Cathy Yardley

💜 I Think I Love You - Auriane Desombre 💜 Truly, Madly, Deeply - Alexandria Bellefleur 💜 Gearbreakers - Zoe Hana Mikuta 💜 Finally Fitz - Marisa Kanter 💜 The Spirit Bares Its Teeth - Andrew Joseph White 💜 Margo Zimmerman Gets the Girl - Brianna R. Shrum & Sara Waxelbaum 💜 Late Bloomer - Mazey Eddings 💜 A Darker Shade of Magic - Victoria Schwab 💜 Love at First Set - Jennifer Dugan

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The Crucible [Hotch x Reader]

Photo credits: Left (@roting) Center (@dudeitiskarev) Right (@moodboard-d)

Prompt: Aaron finds himself alone with a homegrown terrorist group whose leader he put away a year ago. He gets beaten, shot, and dumped in the woods where the reader finds him and attempts to keep him alive long enough for the paramedics to get to him. 

Pairing: Aaron x Non-BAU!reader, gender-neutral!reader. The reader uses they/them pronouns 

Category: angst/hurt/comfort [happy ending] 

Word Count: 14.9K 

Content Warnings: Food is mentioned, alcohol is consumed, there is a hate group [the bad guys], severe beating [glass broken on a body, unwanted touch, forced drinking, punching, hitting, groping (Aaron)], shooting [Aaron], death by gunshot [a bad guy], gore,  mention of past abuse [Aaron], arguing, near death, hospitals, deep concern and coping mechanisms, language. If I missed any, please let me know. 

A/N: Hi all! It has been a while, but I am back now thanks to the end of the semester. I hope you are all doing very well! As always, I return with a novel of a Hotch story. I’ve had this idea for months now, and I am happy with how it turned out. I do want to encourage you to read the Content Warnings as this is angsty (though it has a happy ending). If you like this concept and would like to see a part two, let me know. I have many fluffy ideas for Aaron too, and those are coming, pinky promise. I am so happy to be writing again and hope to do a lot of it during the summer. Please be kind to yourselves this week and do something you love. If you enjoy this fic, likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! Love Levi - ❤️

P.S. Special shoutout to @criminalskies for sharing emergency medicine with me for this fic! If I got things wrong, I'm sorry pookie.

List with all stories 

y/n = your name 

_c/t_ = coffee or tea

y/l/n = your last name 

y/a =  your age

Aaron drove down the lonely highway. He’d passed briefly through Shenandoah National Park. The peacefulness of the trees had calmed his mind for the hour that he was in the park, but as he got back onto the main road, the conversation that was bothering him started to edge its way back into his consciousness. Hotch wanted to close his eyes and potentially scream, but he settled for rubbing his hand angrily over his brow and then his eye bags that seemed to get heavier each day. 

Sean had reached out last week saying that he was going to be in New York meeting someone and had asked if his older brother had wanted to get a drink and catch up. To Hotch, this was last-minute planning according to him and his packed schedule. But he’d managed to drag himself out of bed and on the road on Saturday morning. When he got into the city, he and Sean met up at a swanky restaurant that suited Aaron’s taste a bit more than Sean’s. That at least he had to give his little brother credit for. 

In their adult lives, the Hotchner brothers had never seen eye to eye. It had only gotten worse when their mom had passed leaving the last real reason for them to be civil behind. Not that they were outwardly hostile, at least they hadn’t been until this afternoon, just that Aaron carried a lot of guilt and Sean had never seen to be able to step past his anger about what life had thrown at him. Neither could be blamed for their responses. But when Aaron arrived at the restaurant, Sean moved forward and shook his hand, and even gave him a hug with his other hand. Hotch returned the hug, realizing just how many years it had been since Sean and he had seen each other. 

They pulled back and looked at each other for a moment before moving inside and being seated. They both decided to just have a drink. Aaron got a mezcal mule and Sean opted for a margarita on the rocks. They both did a bit of catching up on their first drink, but things started to get rocky when Sean said, “So, I’m seeing someone new. Her name is Jennifer and she’s got three kids from a past relationship. I’m going to visit her and her family over the weekend. If things look good I’m thinking of moving from Nashville. Or I’ll invite her to move down with me.” Hearing this, Hotch took a sharp breath in. Sean had always been impulsive, but this was a lot, even for him. Aaron had hoped that with time, his brother would have grown out of this lifestyle. 

Hotch furrowed his brow and asked, “How long have you known her?” Sean sipped his drink but didn’t love Aaron’s tone. He replied a bit defensively, “A month and a half, but I don’t see why that’s a big deal. I’m just feeling it out, Aaron.” Hotch couldn’t help but scoff and say, “It sounds like a bit more than that.” Aaron’s reply only solidified Sean’s defensive nature, and he replied hotly, “Well what do you mean by that? You don’t even know Jennifer.” Aaron took a steadying breath. He didn’t want to come off as creating a narrative, or not trusting Sean, but Aaron had seen the same thing play out with his brother again and again, and each time Sean got hurt. Hotch looked at Sean and said, “I shouldn’t have said it like that. But what I’m trying to say is that you jump into things. You and I have both seen it before. You say that I don’t know Jennifer well, but from what I’m hearing I don’t know if you know her that well either, and you’re already talking about you or her moving across the country. Does that sound logical or well throughout to you?” 

Sean was already heated. Something about Aaron’s attitude made him feel judged. His older, well-put-together brother always had something to say about his life. Sean set down his empty glass and said, “Well maybe you’d know more about me and my life if you called me sometimes. Or unlocked yourself from the chain connecting you to your desk and came down and saw me sometimes.” Aaron sighed and tried to defend himself even though he knew Sean was right saying, “Sean, I have Jack. And my work doesn’t just let me have off time like yours does. Plane tickets go both ways. And you never answered my question.” 

Aaron pinched the bridge of this nose.  He just once wanted Sean to think through his actions. Sean responded, “You’ve always thought you were better than me. And I think you really stopped caring about me when Mom died. But let’s be honest, you stopped caring when dad passed.” The mention of their family so quickly broke Hotch’s facade of composure and he said, “Don’t bring family into this Sean. You know I don’t talk about that. I care about you and I want you to make good choices.” Sean let out a sharp breath and said, “You don’t talk about it because you refuse to admit how fucked up it left you emotionally, Aaron. At least I can connect with women. And don’t start acting like dad on me now.” Sean’s latest comment landed like a slap on the face to Aaron and he said, “You better not be comparing me to him, Sean. You had better not be doing that right now.” After all the beatings Aaron had taken for his mom and for Sean who always seemed to be getting into trouble during his younger years, the comparison made Aaron feel sick. Before Aaron had a chance to reply or defend himself for making a comment he already regretted, Sean continued, “And I don’t think you're qualified to comment on my relationships or how I’ve hurt people before. Haley dumped you and then died because of you. So I can think of at least one woman who’s been treated worse because of a Hotchner and it wasn’t me.” 

What Sean said made Aaron see red for a second. He stood, towering over Sean who was still sitting. It was one thing to have Sean bring up their parents, it was one thing to call him a workaholic and be emotionally unavailable. He knew these faults already. It didn’t really hurt him to hear them again, but the comment about Haley ate at him like acid on flesh. He had tried. He had tried so hard with Haley. He had loved her. He’d loved her with everything there was in him, and yes, it wasn’t enough, but that didn’t mean he didn’t love her. That her brutal death hadn’t torn him open sinew by sinew. Aaron felt his heart pumping in his ears. He was biting his tongue so hard that he tasted iron in his mouth. His fingernails dug into the calloused skin of his palms. If Sean was anyone else but his family, he would hit him. However, after all the abuse Aaron had seen, he made a promise to himself that he would never be violent with his family. It took everything in Hotch to uphold that promise. When Aaron came back to his senses, he realized he was standing. It was a good thing as Aaron grabbed his jacket and moved away from the table. He looked at Sean like he didn’t know him as he said, “Don’t ever call me again,” and walked out the door. 

The first hour of the drive back to Quantico was filled with a silence so oppressive that Aaron felt it weighing him down like an iron vest. The next hour all Aaron could think about was what Sean had said, and how he had responded. It wasn’t a good feeling. The way he’d ended things, but he wasn’t sure what else he would or could have done at such a cruel statement. If Sean could say something like that to him, to his face, then he felt justified with his final words of their conversation, even if Aaron had seen shame slowly creep up Sean’s face as he realized what he’d said. What Aaron ended up feeling for the rest of the hour was grief. Grief not only for missing Haley but for what felt like a death in his and Sean’s relationship. 

Hotch would have liked to drive all the way home, get another stiff drink, take a hot shower, and sleep, but the fact that he had a drink and it was still a long way off from home made that an impossibility. Aaron checked his gas tank. He did need a top-up and he hadn’t seen a station for miles, however, he approached what looked like a small bar nestled in the middle of nowhere. He slowed slightly and looked at the exterior of the old wooden building with a wrap-around porch. The Coors Light and Miller Light neon signs fighting to be seen in the bright daylight gave away that it was a bar and not some old building with a few cars parked outside. Hotch knew he needed a bathroom and this was going to have to do. It would be in and out. He’d grab a beer so he didn’t look like he was just there to relieve himself; even if that was the case. 

Aaron pulled into the parking lot. His hands tapped the wheel restlessly as he picked one of the many empty spaces. Something in his gut felt off, but he blamed it on the argument. As good as he was with dealing with stress, this was different. Hotch dropped his head for a second and tried to get his bearings. When he’d taken a deep breath, he raised his head and unbuckled his seatbelt, opened his door, and swung his feet out onto the gravel of the parking lot. The stones crunched under his tread. Hotch stepped up the three stairs onto the wooden porch. He could tell the building had seen much better days. He wouldn’t be surprised if there was rot in the wooden beams that smelled of pine sap. Hotch opened the door which creaked on rusty hinges, as soon as he stepped into the dim, ill-lit room, Aaron knew that he had made a mistake. There there were five patrons and the bartender scattered around the small space. Three of the big burly men were sitting at the bar, and before they turned around to look at who had entered their space, Hotch could see the symbols of hate on their leather vests The antiquated flag of the South that rested above the bar solidified that this was the hangout for a very particular group of people. If he could, Aaron would have walked right back out the door. Even his more casual slacks and button-down were a far departure from the denim jeans, stained baseball caps, and leather, but it was too late, the men sitting at the bar had turned in their seats and eyed him suspiciously. 

It was too late to turn around now and just walk out the door. It would look strange and there was something inside gnawing of him to investigate this space further. Call the FBI with evidence of the type of activity happening here. Not only that, but his bladder protested as well. He quickly cleared his throat and moved into the space and toward the restroom sign on the far wall. He strode with a false confidence toward the bathroom, the men turned back to their conversation but with lower voices. After Aaron relieved himself, he moved from the poorly lit room that smelled like piss. He rinsed off his hands and realized that there weren’t any paper towels, so he opted to wipe his damp palms and fingers on his pants. It wasn’t ideal, but it would do. 

Moving back into the bar, Aaron stepped up to the wooden countertop next to one of the men who continued to eye him with distaste. The man behind the bar turned his gaze at the tall, broody man standing in front of him, sizing Aaron up. After an awkward moment, the barkeep asked, “What can I get you?” It was clear from the way everyone was acting that he was not welcome here. At this point, Hotch didn’t want to be here either. After letting out a low breath, Hotch replied steadily, “Just a Budlight.” The bartender nodded and grabbed a clean glass from the cups stacked up on the back side of the bar. He moved to the draft beers and filled the glass to the brim, the frothy head spilling just the smallest bit over. The man didn’t bother wiping the side of the glass dry as he added a lime to the rim. As the red-faced man sat the glass down in front of Aaron he said, “That’ll be five dollars.” Hotch nodded and pulled out his wallet. He made sure to keep his FBI ID hidden as he pulled out a ten-dollar bill. Aaron’s eye flicked up the flag on the wall, and he regretted giving this place any money. But he’d just drink his beer as fast as he could without it looking conspicuous and then get the hell out of there. He handed the man the cash who grunted and pulled out a slightly wet five-dollar bill from the tip jar. Hotch took a few sips from the drink trying to drain the glass as quickly as possible. There was no chance of taking a picture without it being obvious, but he’d call the FBI as soon as he was back in his car. In fact, as soon as he was out the door.  As he was drinking, one of the men from the tables near the window moved to the bar next to Hotch. 

“Another Coors Steve.” The man who had just ordered was so close to Hotch that he could smell his sweat and very clearly see his hateful tattoo. The fact that the man had that visible in this place only solidified that Aaron would never take this road again. This place seemed more than just a spot for the locals to hang out and chat over a cheap beer. Hotch was halfway through his beer and making good time when the door opened again. Aaron couldn’t help like the rest of the patrons to turn his head slightly at the entryway. Hotch felt his stomach clench as he saw who was walking in the door. All other thoughts left his mind, and his work side kicked in. Aaron knew the man walking in the door well. He’d arrested him one year ago for a litany of hate crimes. The memory of the two young men who had been killed by the man stepping up to the bar with a familiar smile made Aaron’s stomach turn. Roman Invictus LeBrant, formerly Hayden Jude LeBrant before he fell down the alt-right pipeline and joined a hate group was a hard person to forget. 

Roman noticed Aaron too. He was the man who had put him away for a year and two months of hell. Half of his time in prison had been spent in isolation for his protection as he kept picking fights with the inmates. Thanks to the fact that Roman had no spine and didn’t want to spend any time in jail, he had ratted out all of his co-conspirators and so-called ‘friends.’ Due to this, he had gotten off with a lighter sentence. The very sight of Agent Hotchner shot a bolt of rage through him. Roman’s face broke into a malicious smile. This time the tall and sauve FBI agent was on his turf, with his people. He didn’t have all of his friends to back him up. The man moved up to the bar with confidence. Everyone in the room's attitude shifted as their chosen leader entered their space. The man sitting next to Aaron quickly got up and made room for the man. Everyone also stood at the sheer presence of the man that they so revered. He stepped between Aaron and his friend. Roman looked at Steve and then to his left saying, “Steve, Dan. How are you motherfuckers?” The felon was so close to Aaron that he was brushing his thigh. The lack of personal space was meant to disturb Hotch, but it wasn’t working. Aaron had set down his glass, his eyes facing forward with a determined gaze. The fact was, as quickly as Roman had gotten out of prison, he had began his normal campaign of terror again. After that the man had made himself very hard to find, and to the top of the FBI’s most wanted list. So Hotch had a responsibility to make sure Roman got put back where he belonged. Unfortunately, Aaron couldn’t just whip you his phone and get the FBI here in an instant, and Roman knew this and was enjoying it. 

The bartender could sense the tension between Hotch and his friend but chose not to speak. Roman looked straight ahead as well saying, “Hotchner.” Aaron replied, “LeBrant” in greeting. Aaron could feel his gut clench with worry. There was little he could do right now. Roman had come in the front door and was well aware that he was alone, so Hotch was left with not much more than his wits. He had his small pistol on his left ankle, but reaching for that would do little good as everyone in the bar was probably armed. Roman finally addressed the bartender saying, “Steve, I’ll take a shot of whiskey and one for my agent friend too.” At the word agent, the whole room's attitude shifted again. It was tense before, but now that they knew a fed was in their midst, the tension turned to simmering anger and fear. 

Aaron knew that there wasn’t much worse than to be in a room full of people like LeBrant who were angry and afraid. Steve let out a chuckle and poured two generous double shots and placed one in front of Aaron and one in front of LeBrant. Aaron wearily looked at the drink and Roman took him with a single swig before turning to Hotch for the first time saying, “Aaron, I don’t think that drink is poisoned as I just had one myself, so drink up. I think you’re going to need it for what’s coming next.” Aaron met Roman’s hateful gaze, raised his shot glass, and said sarcastically, “To your health,” before downing the shot. The dark liquor burned down his throat and he stopped himself from coughing. As Hotch kept his face straight LeBrant asked, “So, have you liked my recent work? I’d think this is a sting operation on the FBI’s part, but you’re looking pretty alone from where you’re sitting right now.” The large man’s words were true as the group of men in the bar had all slowly started surrounding Aaron and cutting off any escape plans he might try and make. 

Aaron was racking his brains for a way out of this situation but the repetition of the question, “Didn’t you like my stunt at that church, Agent? Didn’t it get your blood flowing? It certainly had me, excited.” Hotch cringed at the implication and replied, “I find little to be excited about to send a sixteen-year-old suicide bomber into a church filled with people, mostly women and children.” Roman scoffed and nodded at Steve for a beer bottle. Aaron shifted in his chair slightly which had an impact as everyone, including Steve, pulled guns on him. Everyone, except LeBrant that was. He was the king of his castle and he knew he would be protected no matter what. Roman raised his hands and said, “Easy boys. Take it easy. We don’t want things to get messy, just yet at least.” Hotch swallowed thickly and Roman grabbed the bottle off of the bar, looking at the label before quickly whipping it above his head and over the back of Aaron’s skull. 

The sound and feeling of the ice-cold beer and the shards of glass colliding with Hotch’s head was so intense that it knocked him off his chair. Aaron took in a sharp breath as he closed his eyes as the alcohol streamed down his head and wetted his hair and the collar of his shirt. Closing his eyes didn’t help Aaron much with keeping a handle on the situation as he leaned heavily forward against the bar before being wrenched back by serval hands on his body to the center of the room. 

Aaron stumbled as he was led away from any support. He could hear a few low laughs at his condition but was more worried about what was going to happen next. Hotch opened his eyes to see the floor swimming in front of his eyes. Before he could even get his feet under him, a knee met painfully with his groin. The pain of the glass tearing open his scalp and the feeling of warm blood flowing from his head was surpassed by the acute pain emanating from his nether regions up his body. Aaron grunted with pain and screwed his eyes shut again. The hot, large hands fondling a sensitive area of Hotch’s body had him open his eyes again. 

He wasn’t surprised that it was Roman doing the fondling, thankfully at this point over his clothes. LeBrant spat in Aaron’s face as they made eye contact and Roman’s hand slowed as he said, “How do you like that Hotchner? How does it make you feel?” Aaron’s gaze hardened and he refused to reply to LeBrant’s taunts and demeaning actions. The gruff man gave Aaron’s groin a hard squeeze before stepping back. Hotch had just started to catch his bearings, when he realized he was being supported on either side of his body by two men with the rest of the gang stepping in front of him. His eye caught that his only gun had been taken. Roman, like a shark circling a bleeding victim in the ocean, hoping to get some sort of fearful response. When the man didn’t get one he snarled and pulled out a jack-knife and moved back to Aaron’s face flashing the point of the blade dangerously close to his skin. Still, Hotch didn’t flinch and Roman flicked the knife over Hotch’s cheek drawing fresh blood apart from the red liquid slowly causing Aaron’s vision to be disabled. Hotch naturally pulled back and Roman laughed before saying, “How would you like me to blind you, Aaron? Or cut off one of your ears. Do you think the FBI will still want you after that?” Aaron couldn’t stop himself from coughing out in pain as the men holding him tightened their grips on his forearms. 

Roman was happy with his enemy's position, as bloody drool slipped from his mouth and onto the floor of the bar. LeBrant stepped back and stated, “Boys, if you want to have some fun you can. You can blame Agent Hotchner for locking me up for a few years, so why don’t you pay him back in kind? Now, no serious boldly harm, and not too much blood. You’ll have to clean this shit hole up after the mess you make of him, but enjoy for a bit.” Hotch raised his head to look at Roman defiantly, hoping to show that he still wasn’t afraid. Whatever he had planned for him, he still didn’t regret putting him away, and putting him away again. LeBrant met Aaron’s stern brown eyes and sat back at the bar, grabbing another drink like nothing was happening. The man said over his shoulder as the real beating began, “You’re welcome for the whiskey, Hotchner.” 

LeBrant managed to down two more beers while watching and listening with a sick satisfaction to Aaron as he got punched, spat on, had drinks splashed in his face, and forced down his throat. Hotch gaged as another bottle was cast aside and hit the wall with the sound of shattered glass. He was beyond the point of silence as he took blow after blow to his face and torso. Aaron was sure his nose was broken as he took another hit to the face and his nose radiated pain through his nasal bridge and up his skull. He grunted in pain as his ribs got another beating. If pulverizing him to death was the plan, then the men surrounding him were doing a good job at that. However, what these bruisers weren’t very good at, and apparently Roman wasn’t good at noticing either, was that Aaron’s DNA was getting spread everywhere in the room from his saliva on the shattered beer bottles, or his blood dripping on the floor, or his hair which had been harshly pulled to jerk his head up. That was the thing about groups like these, they loved to act tough and strong, but their brains weren’t aways fully used. People like LeBrant could use others as a shield, but no matter what happened, it was going to be hard to get rid of every trace Aaron would leave in the space. 

Hotch’s hold on consciousness was becoming harder, but he managed to notice when the front door opened again. Aaron had hoped it would be someone who was an outsider like him, someone who didn’t belong here. But the normalcy of seeing a man being beaten told Aaron the new man was part of the group. Hotch’s neck hurt as he made eye contact with the man. He had sandy blond hair and clear grey eyes. The look of surprise and innocence quickly left the young man’s face before anger and hatred took over. Aaron dropped his head not sure what was happening but unable to support his own head. Because of this, he didn’t fully understand why the arms that were holding him up suddenly slacked and there was a heavy scuffle of feet as the floor came dangerously close. Before he could reach the ground there was shouting and then a loud popping sound that Aaron realized was a bullet once he felt a searing hot pain tear through his side whipping his body back and to the ground. The pain was worse than anything Aaron had already felt before now. The pain was so bad that he struggled to get oxygen in and his vision went black for a few seconds before he took a huge choking gulp of air in which only blinded him with more pain. 

While Hotch was writhing on the ground trying to get a grasp of what had happened and not blacking out, the older, more seasoned members of Roman’s gang stood for a brief moment of silence, as the men realized what had happened before an uproar started. They dropped their victim and rushed to the newest person in the bar throwing the gun from his hand. Roman stumbled out of his chair, face turning red with rage as he took a breath and shouted at the top of his lungs, “What the fucking hell are you doing Davies? What the mother fucking hell!” Spittle flew from his mouth and Davies, the newest, and youngest recruit to LeBrants' cause swallowed nervously. He hadn’t expected this response. He thought he’d get praise for his actions as he was always told to take bigger steps and take risks for the cause. Greg, one of the senior circles slapped Davies in the face and said, “Roman’s talking to you. Answer him.” Davies stuttered as he said, “That’s the guy that put you away. I thought that I should put him where he belonged. Hanged from a noose or underground. I ain’t got no rope, so I shot the fucker.” Davies was all in and zealous for the group's beliefs and in his case. Roman bowed his head and muttered “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” under his breath. 

LeBrant came back to the moment when Aaron let out a soft whimper and placed his hand over his stomach where blood was pooling dangerously fast beneath him and onto the ground. Even in his agonizing state, Aaron knew that the most important thing was to try and stop the flow of blood as much as possible. If it was instinct or training, Hotch couldn’t be sure with the pain he was in. For now, all he could do was try and survive. Roman was thinking the same thing for himself as a multitude of options flashed in front of his mind. He was the leader and he needed to act like one as Davies looked at him like a deer in the headlight while the rest of his men glanced uneasily between Aaron’s hunched-up body on the floor and their leader. 

Roman cleared his throat and took a more secure stance, with his feet apart and chest out. An idea was forming in his mind and he just needed his people to fall in line. Roman looked at Davies first and said, “It’s alright son. You did well shooting the fed. He earned it.” With those words, the men seemed to relax a bit and one knelt down next to Hotch to see the damage. Roman nodded a self-soothing gesture before saying, “Okay. Steve. Get us a trash bag or something to stop the blood so it will be easier to clean. Let’s do that first.” Steve rummaged through his back bar and tossed a roll of saran wrap and tape to Greg. Hank another senior member moved next to Greg and asked Roman, “Are we saving his ass?” LeBrant scoffed and replied, “Funk no. Just don’t want the fucker bleeding all over. Now, wrap him up tight, and don’t make it too comfortable on him either.” Hank snorted back laughter and he pulled Aaron’s torso off the floor roughly. Hotch tried uselessly to stop anyone from removing his hands from the gunshot wound, but he was too weak to put up a fight. His large hands were slick with blood as he tried and failed. Greg took out the plastic wrap and pushed the roll to Hotch’s stomach causing Aaron to groan out in pain. The pair on the floor moved the roll over the agent's wound minimally stopping the flow of blood. Davies watched as Aaron convulsed in pain on the ground. 

The young man had thought he would feel better killing a fed, but what he was seeing was making him want to vomit instead. When the seran wrap was taped tight over Hotch’s blood-soaked shirt Roman instructed, “Greg, Hank, Davies, go take Agent Hotchner into the woods. Far away. I’d recommend the national park. Don’t kill him. Let him bleed out or better yet, let some animal finish him off. Take him in his car and then when you’ve dumped the body torch the car.” Everyone else, we’re cleaning this place, top to bottom. No drop of blood, nothing can be found here.” Everyone nodded and took on their roles quickly. 

Hotch was jerked back to consciousness as he was dragged out the front door. He blearily saw someone open the door to his SUV before he was placed in the back seat. His brain was thinking of trying to run, to call for help, but he was stripped of his phone and hardly had the strength to keep his eyes open. Davies was standing outside the car still not sure what to do exactly, and most certainly not sure how to feel. Roman looked out the window at the man that had the potential to fuck his life over again. He turned to Steve and said, “Go out there and kill Davies. Headshot, make it fast, and don’t let him suffer.” Steve looked up at Roman and said astoundedly, “Roman?” LeBrant turned to Steve and said, “You heard me. The kid’s a liability. I am not going back to that shit fucking hell hole of a prison cell, and Davies seems to be trying to send me there, so go out there and get the job done. Put his body in the truck with Hotchner and tell Greg and Hank when they set the car on fire to leave Davies's body in there.” 

It was with blind adoration that Steve hesitantly grabbed his rifle and stepped outside. The young man was still standing while looking at Aaron’s SUV as Greg and Hank looked at a map to decide where to drop Aaron off to have his last few moments of life. They were arguing about accessibility, getting the car in without being seen, and lugging the agent out into the middle of the surrounding forest. It had to be just right without the chance of anyone catching them but still able for two men to pull off alone. They didn’t trust Davies for shit. He was too green for the whole operation. Not trustworthy in their eyes.

Meanwhile, Aaron had gathered some of his bearings in the back seat. He was unhappy with his supine position in the back. It would be far too easy for him to be taken out quietly and quickly after the SUV had pulled away from the bar. While Aaron was waiting for something to happen, he pressed his left hand to his side tightly, grit his teeth, and used his right to slowly inch himself up to a seated position. He was well aware that this position was causing him to bleed out faster, but at this stage, life didn’t seem too long, and if he was going to go out, he would understand as much as he could as to what was happening around him, and if possible, leave traces for the team to find his body after. 

The thought hurt Hotch as Jack would lose both of his parents. Aaron held himself back from crying, but the idea of his son being alone tore at him just as badly as the hole in his torso did. Aaron did not expect to see what he did. Just as his eyes got high enough to see out the window, the young man who had shot him had his name called from the porch of the establishment. Davies was about five feet from the bar and turned around. He didn’t see the shotgun in Steve’s hand, but Aaron did. There was nothing Hotch could do but close his eyes just before the blood splatter and brain matter painted the tires of his car. Aaron fell back onto the seat, not expecting to see an execution like that. He was too beaten to get back up, but at least he was laying on his side instead of on his back which would afford him a look out the front window so he could see where he was going or try and make mental notes of some landmarks; assuming that he wasn’t going to be blindfolded. From the state of things outside and groups shouting at each other, Hotch didn’t think that those dumping him would do anything more than take him far out and drop him. 

A few moments later the back door was opened again and several men heaved Davies's body onto the floor in the back of the car. Aaron didn’t focus on the body apart from unintentionally seeing what was left of what had been a youthful face. He was unrecognizable now. Hotch closed his eyes and tried to steel himself for the ride to come. If he survived long enough he’d think about the man on the floor -- later, much later. Right now he centered his head on Jack, then on the team who were on a case in Ohio. Lastly, he tried his best to listen to Hank and Greg as they got in and revved the engine. 

They were silent as they slowly drove out of the parking lot. The crunch of gravel and Aaron’s labored breathing punctuated the silence. It was clear to Aaron that the two men in the front were remaining quiet so Aaron wouldn’t have any more details about them, their plans, or the organization. He and the BAU had taken Roman down once, and they didn’t want to be in that frying pan again. As they hit the main road, Greg, who was driving, stayed just at the speed limit to not attract any attention from passing cars even though there were none on the road. However, as the car started hitting bumps, Aaron couldn’t hold in his pained grunts and whimpers as searing pain shot through him with each unexpected dip or rise in the SUV. It seemed that Aaron’s pained sounds were too much for the men, and they looked at each other and then the downed agent in the rearview mirror before they both started a light conversation that was fully juxtaposed to the gruesome scene around them.  

The men began talking about the weather and then talked about their wives. Aaron could hardly hear the conversation as he tried to keep himself awake. The duration of the car ride took about half an hour, and Aaron noticed one very strange-looking tree that had been struck by lightning and bifurcated down the center almost perfectly. His brain had started to be pulled into so many different directions as his sanity slipped away from the blood loss. His brain wondered how many trees like that got struck annually, and he knew that Spencer would have an answer to that question. The team flashed before his mind when an abrupt halt of the car almost had Hotch fly into the seatbacks in front of him. He managed to not have that happen, and shortly after Greg and Hank were at the left side of the car and both grunted as they pulled Aaron by the legs out of the car. 

Hotch almost hit the muddly path, but the two men held onto his underarms jostling him back to awareness. As strong as these men thought they were, they hadn’t realized just how hard it was to drag a limp body around, and Aaron had no strength to walk on his own feet and no desire to help in his own demise. In fact, if he could make it harder for them, he would. So Aaron coughed and made sure that some of his spit and blood got on the ground. Not only that but he also dug his toes into the earth so his tennis shoes left little trails in the mud. Hotch knew that if he was dealing with a more competent group, they would do something about this now, but Greg and Hank were too busy hauling him along to care at the moment. Greg was significantly taller than Hank and due to this, Aaron’s left side was far lower to the ground making the weight distribution of his toned body uneven. After only ten minutes, once the trio had entered what seemed to be a secluded and wooded part of the forest, the shorter man who was carrying the greater bit of weight grunted out, “Let’s dump him here. I can’t keep doing this and then have to trash a car too.” Greg, who was also tired agreed and they dropped Aaron like a load of bricks and took off as quickly as they could discussing loudly that there was a cliff face nearby and it was unlikely that anyone would find Aaron for days. Hotch moaned slightly and took in the scent of the wet earth near him. He supposed that dying in the forest, in nature, wasn't the worst place to go. It smelled nice and if he could only turn over he’d see the sky and canopy of trees above him once more. As his vision started fading again he realized he might not have that chance. 

Nearby Aaron’s dump site, y/n had been on a four-day long backpacking trip. They’d asked their boss for the Friday and Monday off months ago. y/n had needed a chance to unwind, be alone, and potentially scream into the void. That type of behavior didn’t normally fly in their apartment and they were feeling so much more at peace after their first day of hiking. y/n had found a lovely spot to set up their small one-person tent for the evening. When y/n had gotten up the next morning and looked down the tall rock ravine, they saw the bolts in the wall from previous climbers. They regretted that it had rained the last night making any climbing impossible. y/n considered continuing moving along the twenty-five mile trail they had mapped two months before, but realized that they weren’t with a group and they were already almost halfway through the trail and could finish hiking it in a full day. Because of this, and because y/n had promised to do whatever they felt like on this trip, they decided to stay in that spot for the day. It was a bit off the beaten track which is what they wanted and in all honesty real life had been so stressful recently that just taking a day to sleep, read, and swim in the nearby river sounded like exactly what y/n needed. 

y/n slept in another hour before making a cup of _c/t_. While they sipped their steaming cup, they picked up their most recent book and took a few minutes absorbing the pages of the story making small mental notes about where the plot might go and if some twist was coming in the next chapter. Somehow all the books that y/n read ended up having weird twists that they loved to hate. After getting through their drink and feeling warmed, y/n changed into light hiking attire that could be stripped down for a dip in the lake as long as the water wasn’t too cold or full of bramble from the rain last night. It was a short hike down to the water's edge and it was crisp, but not too cold to for a midday swim. y/n laid a towel down on the rocky shore after getting out of the water and drying off in the warmth of the sun. They dozed on and off as they tanned for a bit. Not that y/n was a vain person, but with the oncoming of summer, having a bit of a tan couldn’t hurt. When y/n was happy with their time by the lake, they moved back toward their tent and supplies which they had put in a bear bag and lifted high above the ground. It was about a thirty minute walk back to the tent when y/n would plan on what to do with the rest of their free day. 

It felt wrong to just waste such a pretty day. When y/n was close to their campsite, they stopped in their tracks abruptly. The sound of voices and heavy footsteps is what made them halt. y/n’s stomach dropped for some reason. If they were on a more well-known trail or popular camping site, y/n would likely greet those on their walk in the opposite direction. But this was different. This area was secluded, off the beaten track. And from the sound of it, it was two men moving slowly nearby. y/n had spent enough time outside camping and backpacking to hear loads of horror stories of those having bad things done to them on the trail. Sure some of them were overembellished, but certainly not all of them, and y/n wasn’t willing to take the risk with their own safety. y/n slinked back into the brush and hoped that the men would stop before catching sight of their tent. y/n took slow soft breaths and waited, all there was to do was wait. Just as the footsteps seemed to be right on them, they stopped. 

y/n couldn’t see the men. They’d stopped just out of sight. As they stopped, y/n realized that something was very, very wrong. The strong breathing of the men had hidden the sounds of another person. Someone who was clearly in pain. Their breathing was raspy like air wasn’t fully supplying their body. There was also a very painful-sounding grunt as the injured party hit the ground. One of the men said, “Fuck, that’s hard work. I don’t believe Roman’s stories now about all his brawls and picking people up in the clanger now.” There was a grunt and another, deeper voice replied, “Shit man, I don’t believe half of his crap, but he’s the boss. He says jump and I jump. Now let’s get back to the car and torch it. The agent here won’t last long.” The first voice agreed and said, “Yeah. I need a shower and another beer. Let’s hope it’s all cleaned up by the time we get back to Steve’s.” 

y/n felt like they couldn’t stand still any longer. The desire to take a deep breath of just look out to see what was happening at the men who were talking pulled at them like an itch. But not all itches should be scratched. Some needed to not be disturbed, and it felt like torture, but y/n held back from moving until the sound of chatter and footsteps were long gone. Even after they were out of audible range, y/n waited. After another few restless minutes, they got up from their hiding position. From the sound of it, someone, perhaps someone unsafe was very injured. Even so, it wasn’t like y/n to leave someone hurt to fend for themself. With caution, y/n moved through the low brush and mud, and after a few paces, they noticed a man lying on his stomach. It didn’t take y/n more than a second to realize that the man on the ground, even if he was some hardened criminal, was unable to fight. Besides this fact, there was the comment about the “Agent not being around long,” so the man might have been on the opposite side of crime. Without hesitation y/n moved next to the prone form in the mud and set down their backpack. The man gave a small sound, perhaps aware that there was someone else near him. y/n looked over the man and noticed the saran wrap around his torso. It was a poor attempt to staunch the flow of blood from a bullet wound. Given how much blood the man had lost, there was no time to lose in getting the man medical help. 

y/n knelt down next to the man and noted the thick blood coating his forehead and brow. y/n patted his shoulder, and he managed to open his eyes. Aaron could see the blurry figure of someone kneeling in front of him. He thought it was a hallucination until they touched his shoulder and tried to say something to him. Understanding the stranger's words was beyond all comprehension to him now. y/n could tell that he didn’t understand or see them well, but at least he was awake. It would be in his best interest to keep him awake. If the man slipped off to sleep, he may never wake again. So with that in mind, and to try and keep him in as calm a mindset as possible, y/n took off their jacket which they had tied around their waist, and placed it on the man’s back. It would do for a bit of padding and something to soak up the excess blood. There was no need to cut this side of the plastic wrap, and why it had been added in the first place was a mystery. But that wasn’t the main goal right now. The main goal was to stabilize the man for long enough until medical help arrived. y/n grit their teeth and said firmly. “I’m going to roll you over onto your back and then run to my tent and grab some supplies while I call 9-1-1 for you, okay.” 

The man didn’t make a sound, but y/n knew that shifting his weight was going to be painful, so they didn’t waste more time. Given the man’s parlor, there was no time to waste. y/n grabbed the man’s shoulder and hip and tried to slowly and carefully roll him onto his back. As soon as y/n pulled their hands away, which were slick with blood, the man groaned in pain as his body settled. He was still awake. y/n cringed to hear him and said, “I’m going to run to my camp, get some supplies, and call in an emergency helicopter. I’ll be back in five minutes max.” y/n swallowed thickly trying not to be sick at the sight of the man. They grabbed his right hand and placed it over the bullet hole. The man’s hand was crusted over with blood, and it was large. His fingernails had dirt caked under them, and y/n imagined that it might be painful when he got washed up with all the hair his arms had on them. y/n snapped back to the moment. It had only been a millisecond, but in moments of high stress,  they always found themselves focusing on the smallest, most insignificant things. They shifted their eyes to the man’s and he seemed to be locked on theirs. y/n nodded their head and said, “Hold your hands here, as hard as possible, okay.” The man nodded slightly, and with that, y/n got up and ran toward their campsite. 

It was in moments like these that y/n hated that they didn’t always carry their cell phone with them when they camped alone, but then again, they hadn’t expected to find themselves in this situation either. y/n was an experienced outdoors person. With friends and family that respected and highlighted being self sufficient and being able to take care of one’s self. In their world being unable to handle any situation was a weakness and therefore y/n had pressed themselves to always be prepared. This included knowing basic first aid and other skills that were more niche to their interest in spending a lot of time outside. Although it had been hard to be a parental figure and having to figure out being self-sufficient from a very young age, the parentification had equipped y/n for moments like these, and for meeting strange men in the woods if it ever came to that. y/n ran as quickly and as carefully as possible. It would be no good to anyone if they slipped and twisted or broke an ankle or wrist before getting back to the man. The image of his bloody and bruised body was seared in their retinas. They hadn’t seen anything this bad, ever, and the questions on what had happened to the man and who he was came faster than y/n could process them. It was all a sickening blur. y/n made it to their camp and almost dove into their tent. They found their phone first which was still on the solar-powered charging brick. y/n checked for a signal and let out a small prayer of thanks that there was a signal. Even though they were pretty far out, a signal was more often present than not. And if there wasn’t, there were always ways to contact emergency services, but it would take longer, and there wasn’t time for longer right now.

         After one ring the emergency operator answered, “9-1-1, please state your name and the nature of your emergency.” The woman on the phone sounded calm, calmer than y/n felt. Their breath had picked up with all the running, and they had to clear their throat before saying, “My name in y/n, _l/n_. I’m at Shenandoah National Park on the east side camped near Ghost View Lake. There’s a man who needs a Medevac as soon as possible. He’s been shot in the torso, and he’s been severely beaten.” There were a few clicks on the other end of the line and the responder asked, “Are you with this man now? Is he still breathing?” y/n nodded, taking in the person’s words before saying, “I’m not with him right now. He was breathing when I left him. I had to run to my tent to call you and get my emergency supplies.” There was more typing and a muffled voice on the other end of the line before the woman came back on saying, “Please get back to the man as quickly as possible. Do you have any medical training?” y/n nodded saying, “Some, but not much. The bullet seems to have gone clean through though, and he’s lost a lot of blood.” As y/n was speaking, they began packing all of the important things to help the hurt man into their large backpack. By the time they had started zipping up the sides, the operator had told y/n to get back to the Hotch and light a flare for the helicopter to see so they could find a spot to land. The woman relayed that it might be twenty minutes or more before help came, and to keep the man awake if possible. As y/n ran back toward Aaron, they were given more specific instructions on what to do once they were back. y/n kept the woman on the line and as soon as they found an open and dry spot close to where they had found Aaron, they pulled out a flare and struck it against the cap of the flare. Once the melting hot red light burst from the tip like the tale of a demon, they set the flare on a smooth rock, far enough away from the wet brush and leaves to not start a forest fire. Once this was done, y/n moved as quickly as possible back to the man.

         Since y/n had been gone, Aaron felt his strength ebb again. Had the person said something to him? The world was dark again and he was beginning to feel numb. But the memory of the feelings of their hands on his, pressing against his stomach reminded him that they had been real, at least for a moment. Hotch also knew that sleep was death, and therefore grit his teeth and pressed against his torso again over his wound. The pain shot through him again, though his time was less intense; he knew this was not a good sign. Just as Aaron felt his hand slipping, he noticed a bright red light in the corner of his vision, and the person who had been with him before returned.

         y/n skidded to a halt in front of the man, falling to their knees saying, “Hey, you’re still with me. Good. You’re doing good. Help is coming, I promise.” y/n placed their hands on either side of his head and the feeling of their fingers on the side of his face had Hotch open his eyes slightly. Just the simple feeling of touch was a comfort, even if he was doomed to bleed out on the forest floor. Hotch pondered how funny small things became huge things when life was about to end. y/n noticed his brown eyes on them and said, “I’m just making sure your head is laying flat. Then I’m going to check your mouth to make sure you’re not going to choke on your own blood.” Aaron tried to nod, but he couldn’t manage it. y/n knelt further forward and helped Aaron open his mouth. Thankfully there didn’t appear to be any blockage of his trachea, though his breathing was labored. Where or what that situation was, was beyond y/n, so they moved to the next thing the emergency operator had said to do. 

The woman was still on the phone, but y/n was so hyper-focused on the task in front of them, that they didn’t think to give a report on the man’s condition. While he was trying to see the person in front of him more clearly, y/n started pulling things out of their backpack and setting them on the ground, attempting to not get them muddy or contaminated while still being efficient. Once y/n had pulled out their small knife, their first aid kit, and the clean clothes they had, they rezipped their bag and moved to the man’s feet. y/n spoke loudly, so the man could possibly hear, “I’m going to raise your feet. Keep the blood going to your head as much as possible. y/n grabbed their bag and placed it just to the side of the man’s lower legs. y/n didn’t want to shift the man’s body much, if at all, so they had to have things in place. They took another sturdy breath and lifted his left leg just high enough to move their backpack under his knees. The man groaned and y/n said, “I’m sorry. Sorry,” y/n repeated one more time before moving the other leg next to the first. y/n knew that this would be the least of the man’s pain. y/n placed their hands on the ground and took another stabilizing breath, reminding themselves that they could do this. That they could do anything, that they had had to do everything. y/n tried to picture the man as someone they’d protected in the past. Someone that they would do anything for. This helped y/n in moving forward to the next step. Before doing what needed to be done, y/n looked at the man again, tapping his face. Those big brown eyes met theirs again, half understanding, half sad. y/n said more softly this time. “This is going to hurt. I’m sorry. Try not to bite your tongue. Keep your teeth clenched,” y/n demonstrated, “like this.” y/n they looked a fool, but what else could they do?

         y/n pulled a packaged sanitary wipe from the ground and ripped it open. They rubbed it over their hands thoroughly. When the moisture had evaporated, y/n grabbed their first aid kit and pulled out all of the cotton balls and cotton bandages that were inside. y/n placed them on top of the kit and hoped the no wind would blow the supplies away, there were already scant few as it was. Next, y/n grabbed their knife and opened it with a flick of the wrist. y/n knew that once they made the next move there was no going back until the medics arrived. With a look of determination, y/n shifted forward and carefully slipped the tip of the knife under the plastic wrap covering the man’s front. His shirt protected his skin from the sharp blade from cutting him further, and y/n cut up and out with as much care as possible. The blood made the surface of the saran wrap slippery in y/n’s free hand and the multiple layers were not as easy to cut through. However, after what felt like an eternity and with y/n’s heart beating loudly in their ears, the plastic was freed from his body. y/n quickly closed and locked their blade and pushed the plastic barrier aside along with Hotch’s soiled shirt. Even though the saran wrap hadn’t done much to stop the blood from leaving the man’s body, it’s removal along with the final absorption barrier being pulled aside allowed the blood to ebb up a bit more in a trickle of crimson. Again y/n didn’t have time to look at the deep red pooling up on the man’s stomach. Instead, they grabbed a cotton ball and with as much mental strength as they had, pushed it into the weeping wound. The man’s body jolted in pain, but y/n ignored him and grabbed another piece of cotton and then another, pushing each of the white puffs into the bullet hole. The clean cotton was instantly stained red, and y/n tried to ignore the man’s cries of pain knowing that this was for the best. Keep the blood in the body, get his legs up, keep him awake. That was what the nurse had said and what was what they were going to do. At least to the best of their ability. Another eternity later, the hole was filled. It was still releasing blood but at a slower pace.

y/n grabbed the biggest cotton bandage they had and pressed it on top of the packed wound. y/n placed both hands over this last dam, and pressed down to try and keep the man stable. To keep him alive. It wasn’t until all of this had been accomplished that they managed to look up at his face. The man’s eyes were drooping closed and y/n said, “Hey, hey, stay with me. What’s your name? Can you tell me your name?” Aaron turned his head to the side slightly to try and get a better look at the person helping him. It was a comfort to be in their presence. He still couldn’t see them so he said in a low voice, “Hotchner.” y/n nodded, assuming it was a last name. They were at a loss for what to say next. Nothing felt right, so they opted for questions, easy ones. Or at least ones that seemed easy for them. “Hi, Mr. Hotchner. Where were you going today? What brought you this way.” 

Aaron, whose brain had been feeling numb for some time, had started getting more blood circulation thanks to his legs being lifted off the ground. He could feel his helper's hands still over his side. Where he was and what was happening felt beyond him again. He didn’t like the feeling at all, but his body was shutting down and he half-mumbled, “I’m going to see my wife. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other.” y/n, nodded and replied softly, “I’m sure she’ll be so happy to see you. And I know you’ll be happy to see her.” It wasn’t until this point that y/n had thought about him as a person. Not actually as a person, person, but as a man with a life and things outside this very moment of survival. But as they raised one hand and just barely shifted his hair that was caked with blood, off his forehead it became increasingly more difficult to see Mr. Hotchner as anything else than a man who is hurt and probably afraid to die. At the person’s touch, Aaron moved his dominant hand up and this allowed y/n to see that he wasn’t wearing a ring. This fact only came to y/n’s mind because Mr. Hotchner had just said that he was going to see his wife. y/n justified that perhaps the man was just one of many many husbands who didn’t wear a wedding ring, but for some reason, y/n didn’t think that this man would be one of them. Something in their gut just said otherwise. A moment later Hotch said something that would shock y/n even more as he said, “I’m worried about Jack. I can’t go away.” y/n looked up at him and moved their hand back to the now blood-soaked bandage and asked, “Who is Jack Mr. Hotchner?” 

The image of Jack passed in front of Aaron, and he saw himself holding his child, Jack smiling. Maybe it was Christmas time because the lights were twinkling in the background. Then Jack at his first soccer game came to mind, his little legs carrying him toward a ball he was sure to miss. Hotch blinked back tears as he came back to himself. Weakly he said, “My son. Jack is my son. He’s a good kid. Really good. He doesn’t deserve this.” Aaron was thinking about the very real possibility of his son losing both of his parents, but he didn’t vocalize that out loud. y/n furrowed their brow and said “You’re going to be fine Mr. Hotchner. It’s going to be okay. You’ll see your son and your wife again. I know it.” y/n was speaking to themselves now mostly. The trauma of finding someone brutalized in the woods and the possibility that he might die in front of them was finally settling in. y/n had experienced trauma before, but not like this. This was different. Thankfully y/n didn’t have much time to explore this train of thought as the sound of the helicopter approached nearby. y/n bowed their head in thanks for the sound that drowned out their thoughts and didn’t even realize that they had set their head on Aaron’s chest while still keeping their trembling hands on his wound. 

When they arrived, it took the emergency medics a moment to pry y/n off of Aaron as they struggled to let the man they were trying to save go. When y/n realized what was happening, they moved off to the side on unsteady feet and watched the flight paramedics assess and then begin rudimentary efforts to stabilize their patient. y/n watched as a blood transfusion was started and the packing of the bullet wound was made better with medical-grade supplies. These things felt like a blur and as the two-person medical team began moving Aaron onto a stretcher, the sound of police sirens in the distance became audible. y/n realized that the helicopter operator had shared the patient's location and law enforcement was coming to help. This allowed y/n to relax slightly realizing that they were not going to be left alone in the woods once the Medevac was gone. 

Although y/n had felt peace knowing more help was on the way, the questions seemed endless as police arrived and went over the course of the afternoon again. They pointed out everything. Said as much as they could remember and watched as the orange helicopter lifted off and moved Eastward. The last thing they heard from the trauma team at the hospital was, “We have a multisystem failure. Patient is already on a transfusion and Fentanyl…” as they passed by,. y/n’s brain now felt like scrambled eggs and they longed for some respite. Eventually, the police said that y/n would need to come to the station and that they could get a ride in one of the cruisers. Behind y/n’s back, the officers also noticed that y/n should also go to a hospital, and driving there themselves was not a safe idea for them. A few minutes later, y/n tipped their head against the headrest in the backseat of the police car simply letting things happen to them at this point. The officers had assured them that a recovery and crime scene team would gather their belongings from their campsite along with their car. This was all for evidence too, but y/n was too tired to comprehend what was being said to them. 

A few hours later y/n made it out of the room they had been seen in at the hospital. It was very dark outside at this point but the police had easily identified the man they had found, Special Supervisory Agent Aaron Hotchner. The words ran over y/n like a wave. Anything would bowl them over now, but finding out that they had found a federal agent near death in the woods was astounding. In the hospital, y/n was given a thorough exam and then given some strong sleep medication and some Benzos so that y/n could have a sound night’s rest. The local police station had called the Quantico Field Office to let the Beaure know that Agent Hotchner was in critical condition at the JFK University Medical Center.

 As it turned out the BAU was out on a case at the moment, but the Lead Team Coordinator said they would reach out. Within the hour the hospital and police station knew that a member of the BAU was flying up immediately on their jet and should be there sometime around three in the morning. With this information in mind, the police had asked y/n to stay at least one day in town before going home. The very professional-sounding man, Agent Rossi, who was headed to the hospital had asked them to stay and talk. The police had made the choice easy by booking a cab and a room to get y/n from the hospital to the hotel room they had booked in their name. Thankfully, y/n’s boss, after a few minutes of explaining what had happened, had given them the rest of the week off. y/n knew they would need it. Nothing felt quite real anymore and some more time alone would be good. Before y/n went to call the cab, to get a shower and sleep, they stopped at the receptionist's desk and asked, “Do you know if Aaron Hotchner is in a stable condition?” The nurse asked them how they knew the patient and y/n showed their own medical bracelet and explained that they had found Mr. Hotchner. The man looked at y/n and how tired they appeared, nodded, and replied, “I’m sorry, I can’t share any information about the patient” There was a long pause before they added, “However, Mr. Hotchner is still in the ICU.” y/n nodded, wanting more information but also knowing that they had already been told more than was allowed. With that scant information, y/n moved outside and caught their ride. 

The first thing that was surprising to Aaron was the fact that he woke up at all. The feeling of the stiff mattress against his fingers and the crisp sheets covering his body. The sterile scent of antiseptic was the next thing he noticed. He took a few moments to just take in the fact that he had survived the ordeal with Roman. Much of what had happened after the beating in the bar was foggy and beyond his reach. He tried to take a deep breath to center himself but that was a serious error as this triggered parts of his body that weren’t ready to be used that way yet. He let out a cough only exacerbating his pain. The feelings of multiple IVs which he detected now became more apparent and when he opened his eyes, the blurry figure of someone standing came into better focus as the door to his room opened letting in more light from the hallways. As his vision cleared, he could see Dave turn around and greet someone who must have been a doctor. Rossi stepped back a bit, but just knowing Dave was here let Aaron be checked over and taken care of. He didn’t have the energy for much more than being pocked and very lightly prodded before he slipped back into unconsciousness. 

The next time Hotch woke, he was more aware. The room didn’t spin and he could see Dave looking down from his seat near the hospital bed. Aaron didn’t know what to say and just said, “Hey.” At hearing Hotch, Rossi sat forward in his seat and softly replied, “Hey there. Looks like you had a hell of a time with Sean.” Sean hadn’t even crossed Aaron’s mind, but Dave’s attempt at humor while he was feeling like hell was actually funny and Aaron let out a half scoff, half laugh before leaning his head back on the pillow. It wasn’t until he tried to move the blanket to feel more covered that he realized his arm was in a cast. His whole body felt numb, and in that moment, he was grateful for opioids. Rossi moved forward and moved the blanket up and over Aaron’s shoulders. Hotch looked up at Dave and asked, “How bad?” Rossi’s eyes moved toward him, a sure sign that it wasn’t good. After a deep breath, Dave said, “You lost a lot of blood, you’re fighting an infection, concussion, broken arm, and multiple lacerations to your head and body.” Hotch nodded, absorbing the information before saying, “Yeah, Sean really did a job on me.” Rossi could see regret in Aaron’s eyes even though the statement was an attempt at a joke. Dave frowned. Something had happened with Sean and it wasn’t fair to Aaron after being through such a crucible that he should feel bad about anything at the moment. Dave thought about reaching out and patting Hotch on the shoulder, but it was likely Aaron wasn’t looking for touch right now, so he settled with telling his best friend that the team was coming to find LeBrant, who had gone into hiding, and how Jessica would bring Jack down when the doctors said it was okay. Aaron nodded again, thankful that Dave knew him so well. When Rossi had given him some time to just relax and center himself, Aaron asked, “Who was it that found me? Have you seen them?” All Aaron could remember about the person who had saved his life was that they had stayed with him. That their presence, even if he had died, had made him feel safe. 

Rossi replied, “I haven’t seen them yet, though I’ve asked them to meet me here. There are some questions I still have about their report. They should arrive in a few minutes, and that way you can have some time alone if you like. I did read about them, they’re name is y/n y/l/n y/a and they live in Virginia.” Aaron swallowed, his mouth feeling dry before saying, “I’d like to see them when they come. If they’re comfortable with it.” Dave nodded and replied, “I’ll ask them when they get here. For now, just try and rest. Let me know if you need anything and I’ll get the nurse.” Aaron nodded and let his eyes slip closed again. He could sense that Dave was keeping things from him, about what he couldn’t tell, but he’d ask in time, for now, he was alive. 

y/n entered the hospital again. This time it felt better. They were going to get some answers, hopefully, or at least some information about Agent Hotchern’s condition. They’d answer more questions about that information. After the last few day or so the thought of Mr. Hotchner hadn’t left their mind. y/n went to the receptionist who paged another party in the hospital and after a few minutes, an older man walked into the hallway. y/n could tell that he was Agent Rossi instantly. His clothing and demeanor gave him away, along with the deep circles under his eyes. y/n turned toward the man and extended their hand toward him. Rossi gave y/n a reassuring smile and as he took their hand said, “Hello. I’m Agent Rossi. You must be y/n y/l/n?” y/n nodded yes and said, “Yes Sir. That’s me.” Dave gave a small laugh at being called sir, and gently led y/n to a seat on the far side of the waiting room. They both took a seat and there was a moment of awkward silence as they both made mental observations about the other. Finally, y/n said, “Agnent Rossi, I’m happy to answer any questions you might have about my report, but could you tell me if Mr. Hotchner is alright?” Dave dipped his head and pulled himself together saying, “He’s doing better. He’ll have a hard and long recovery, but he’ll be alright. Hotch has gone through a lot, he’ll make it through this too.” y/n listened thinking about the type of person that can say with confidence after such an ordeal that they would make it though. It seemed like a lot, but Mr. Hotchner was clearly cut from Kevlar. y/n replied, “Thank you for telling me. Now, um, what questions did you have for me? I wrote down some notes to try and jog my memory.” Rossi lifted an eyebrow as y/n pulled a notebook from their mini backpack and flipped to a page that had a neat, color-coded timeline of events. Dave smiled at this before saying, “I would like to look at your notes, but I have some questions of another nature to ask first.”

y/n looked confused about what Rossi had said, and he clarified stating, “I’d just like to know if Aaron said anything to you while you were with him?” y/n let out a breath realizing this was a more personal visit. This was to see how his coworker was, not physically, but mentally and emotionally. y/n felt bad for not having thought of that before now and swallowed, realizing this was going to be another layer they would need to unpack within themselves as well. After this thought had passed, y/n replied softly at first, “We did kind of talk, though I did most of it to keep my mind still.” Rossi nodded encouraging y/n to continue, which they did. “I did ask him where he was going and he said that he was going to see his wife. And that he was sorry for his son. He tried to say more after that but it was all sort of jumbled up.” y/n looked up, fresh emotions welling up in them at the remorse that Mr. Hotchner had shown while he lay dying. There was a glimmer of tears in Dave’s eyes too and y/n moved a hand to his comfortingly and asked. “Agent Rossi?” to check in on him. Dave sniffled and moved a handkerchief under his eyes before squeezing y/n’s hand back replying, “Please, just call me Dave. Aaron’s wife passed a little over a year ago. I, I guess I didn’t know what he would think about, but it would make sense.” 

Hearing Dave’s words, a pang of hurt shot through y/n. Suddenly Aaron’s words made more sense. He said he was going home and being sad about it. Jack’s name popped into their mind and y/n asked hopefully, “His son, Jack. He said he had a son. Is he okay? Is Jack with his mom?” Dave closed his eyes and replied reassuringly, “No. Jack is fine. He’s a sweet and hyper kid.” That thought, of Aaron’s son being there for him, made y/n feel better. It was strange for them, to have such intense and strong feelings for a man they hardly knew, but then again, they had been through a lot together. There were a few more minutes of silence as Dave processed and moved on by asking to look at y/n’s notebook and to ask questions for them. Looking at y/n’s notes and the very detailed recount they had written was precise and smart. Not perhaps like a profiler, but somewhat so. That conversation lasted about a half hour and Rossi could see that y/n was tired and he still needed to broach the topic of them seeing Aaron, so to take something off of their plate he began by saying, “y/n this has been very helpful for me, both as Aaron’s coworker and as his friend. I know you’ll need your own time to process and work through all of this but I might need to contact you again by myself or a member of my team. Would it be okay if I left you my number and I got yours?” y/f felt a hitch in their breath thinking that this might be over. All the adrenaline came to a big crash like a wave on the rocks. But it had to end sometime, at least they thought so, so they nodded yes. The pair traded numbers and then Dave said, “y/n, I know this has been a lot, but I was just with Aaron and he asked if he could speak with you if you’re up to it. If not, he’ll fully understand.” 

At the suggestion, y/n’s eyes shot up in surprise. Not that they hadn’t been thinking about the man twenty-four-seven since they’d first seen him in the woods, but the idea that he would even want to see them felt like a surprise. Curiosity suddenly turned into apprehension and for a second they thought about running out of the room for some wild reason. But y/n came back to earth and knew that perhaps this would be their only time to see the man they’d helped and it would hopefully make things feel more resolved, more final. And they’d have the peace of mind of knowing that he really was alright. So y/n nodded yes and Dave gave them one of his reassuring dad smiles and got up, leading y/n toward Aroon’s room. He flashed his badge when he came across anyone looking at him funnily. At the door to Hotch’s room, Dave knocked and opened the door slightly saying, “I’ve got a visitor for you, Aaron.” There was a muffled response from inside and then Rossi stood back and said, “I’ll be just outside when you’re finished.” y/n swallowed thickly and stepped into the room. 

The space was large enough for a chair or two by the hospital bed, surrounded by medical equipment that beeped on a cycle of minutes, keeping time. The lights had been dimmed and as y/n’s eyes adjusted, they took a small step closer toward the bed. Mr. Hotchner was all cleaned up from his blood-soaked state and now that he was visible, y/n couldn't help but notice how striking and attractive he was. y/n pushed that thought aside, it wasn’t the time. His dark eyes met theirs, and y/n said awkwardly, “Hello Mr., I mean Agent Hotchner, Sir.” Hotch let out a half laugh and said replied, “It’s alright, you can call me Mr. Hotchner, or just Aaron is okay.” y/n nodded listening to his deep voice. Different than how it had been in the woods. There was life in this version of him, and it made y/n feel better. y/n took another step forward, not sure what to expect. 

Aaron watched y/n move forward. They were young. Younger than a normal person should have to deal with such stress and anxiety. He could see their apprehension even as they stepped close to him. Aaron cleared his throat and said, “Why don’t you have a seat, y/n.” y/n did as he said feeling the authority in his presence even as he was in bed recovering. Of course, he wasn’t directing that toward them, just that that power was there in him. It didn’t surprise y/n that he was someone important in the FBI. y/n sat in the chair closest to Aaron so they could hear him better. y/n wasn’t sure how to act now. They wanted to say they were sorry about his wife. But that was too personal. y/n opted for just asking, “Are you feeling okay?” The words sounded hollow in the face of the pain he had experienced in his life. 

Hotch smiled slightly, seeing the struggle in y/n’s eyes. He was glad to see y/n. To really see them and know who they were given how they had kept him calm and feel safe a day ago. Once y/n was seated he replied, “I’ll be okay. It’s just going to take time. I wanted to see how you are doing actually.” y/n’s eyes widened slightly. Shone in the darkness of the room. Taken aback they said, “I’m… okay. I always end up being okay in the end.” Hotch nodded, seeing himself in y/n instantly. Another survivor of a difficult life. It was easy to compartmentalize, and he didn’t want that for them. Not this young. So he said again, “I hear you. But how are you, really feeling?” y/n took a deep breath and tried to suppress the emotions before saying in a shaky voice, “Tired, scared and I don’t know why.” Aaron nodded in understanding. He moved his hand toward y/n, not sure what his intentions were with that movement. Hotch replied, “You don’t have to think about it all right now. But don’t let it out with someone at some point it will eat you up. Do you think you can take this?” 

y/n knew that Aaron was asking about just life in general. How overwhelming it could be after something like this. They had dealt with these feelings before, not like this, but close enough for y/n to say, “Yes. I can bounce back.” Hotch knew that response too. The bounce back. He didn’t want to pressure y/n to seek help, he’d be a hypocrite for saying so, but he worried. This person had saved his life and he didn’t want to see them crumble for it. Hotch took a moment and said, “Thank you for being there for me. I wouldn’t have made it without you.” Not really thinking he added, “You made me feel safe in that moment. I didn’t know if I was going to feel that again.” There was a long silence after his statement as they both absorbed his words. The quiet was punctuated by y/n’s quiet response of, “You’re welcome. I’m happy I could be that for you, Aaron.” y/n looked over at Hotch and could see there was something there. A bond, a name whisper on the wind, or a star. It was a flicker for just a moment and it was gone, but they had both felt it, some of the overwhelming feelings they both housed within. 

In another moment Aaron said, “I’ll let you go, but I’m sure Dave has given you his number, but tell him to give mine as well. I may not be at my best right now, but if you ever need anything y/n, anything, you can give me a call.” y/n nodded and stood wondering if the last they’d ever see of Aaron Hotchner, and was at least grateful for having crossed paths with him. They brushed their hands over his hand for a moment before smiling, saying “I hope you are well soon, Aaron,” leaving the room. Aaron watched as their figure moved outside and stopped to talk to Dave for a moment then disappeared. 

Rossi entered the room and asked, “Do you feel better now?” Hotch nodded and replied, “Yes. Did you give them my number?” Dave laughed and said, “Sure did, office and cell.” Aaron huffed but then said seriously, “y/n will need protection for a few weeks at least.” Rossi replied, “Already on it. Or Garcia is on it. Knowing her, y/n will be getting flowers and chocolate for life.” Hotch laughed at the truth in that statement and felt better. Yes is sucked, this sucked, and his body hurt like hell, but he was alive and things would get better. Aaron’s mind flickered back to his fight with Sean and he laid back on the bed with a groan. Dave watched and eventually, Hotch said with his eyes still closed, “Would you call Sean for me?” Rossi had Sean’s number in case of emergencies with Aaron, Jack, or Jessica. Rossi had everybody in the team's close family on that list. Dave couldn’t help but say, “Why do I have to call him, if you do will he throw his phone out the window or something?” Hotch scoffed and replied, “Just about, but I need to talk to him.” Rossi understood and took out his phone and dialed Aaron’s younger brother before handing the line over to Aaron. 

Aaron had something planned to say, but Sean beat him to it saying, “I’m sorry, Aaron. I shouldn’t have treated you like that. You don’t deserve it.” Hotch let out a breath and replied as lightly as possible, “You bet I didn’t. But I want to apologize too. I got hot-headed…” Rossi motioned for Aaron to ask if he wanted him to leave the room or not. Aaron nodded his head no, and Dave settled in his chair. As Sean and Aaron spoke, and attempted in their own ways to make amends, Aaron knew that things would get better. There was family, be it Jack, Sean, or the team, and there were people out there willing to help. The image y/n smiling down at him filled him with a strange warmth, and he let the image and feeling linger as Sean went on about his day.

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[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 12: Animals

Joel makes sure Bambi stays safe from Simon. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-11 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence (torture and death.) No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 5.5k 

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

August 29, 2023

The howl was distinctive. Three shorter cries and one longer one. 

You knew what that meant. 

Your morning rounds to collect prey from traps had been fruitful - netting you two rabbits so far - and you’d been able to forage for some vegetables and roots, too. It was getting to be late enough in the summer that you knew you needed to start preserving more. Winters were harsh and lean. You no longer struggled like you had 20 years ago, back when you were barely out of your teens and still trying to figure out how to safely cook let alone survive an apocalypse, but it still took conscious effort to not starve to death when the cold weather came. Today’s harvest would help with that. 

But only if the intruders on your land didn’t try to take it from you. 

You clicked your tongue at Nike and gave her ribs a gentle squeeze before urging her into a trot and then a canter toward the source of the howling. 

It didn’t take you long to find, responding to the howl with your designated whistle, starting low and ending high. The dog howled again and you were able to tell where she was, finding her before too long. 

Your other dogs had beaten you there. It looked like Ruger, one of your Belgian Malinois, had been the one to find the three men and one horse who had wandered onto your land. She was standing, teeth bared, in front of them, keeping watch for her sisters. Gattling, the other Bel Mal - both from the same litter, given to you a few years back by a man who’d taken up breeding and training attack dogs at the end of the world - had them at the back. The herding dogs - Venus and Juno - were at their sides, pushing the men closer and closer together. 

You raised your shot gun. 

“Who the fuck are you and why’re you on my land?” 

“Why don’t you lower your weapon,” the man on the horse smiled. “Then we can have a nice, civilized conversation.” 

“Don’t need one,” you replied, giving a short, sharp whistle. The dogs pressed closer. Ruger snarled. One of the men on foot jumped. You whistled again, the dogs’ attention back on you. 

“Ruger, Gattling,” you said. “Savvy.” 

They took off, back toward the cabin and your horse paddock. The men watched them run for a moment. 

“Assuming you’re Texas?” The man ignored the remaining dogs at his feet, using the name you’d picked up in decades of trading with passers by. “Heard you trade for horses, was wondering if you had some you’d be willing to part with and what the going rate would be?” 

You looked him over, the horse he was riding. You knew that horse. 

“Looks like you already got one of mine,” you said. “But I know you didn’t get him from me. What did you do to Jennifer.” 

Your gun was still up, leveled at the man on horseback. 

“Got the horse off a girl who got bit,” he said before he smirked and shook his head a little. “She sure was a pretty thing, though.”

You adjusted your grip on the gun and bit back a snarl. You’d liked Jennifer, she was a sweet girl. She’d left the Kansas City QZ as it falling apart, too young to remember much of life before the world ended. She’d reminded you of yourself at the start of the end of the world, figuring out how to be on her own while learning how to survive. She’d stayed with you for a few weeks after she’d stumbled upon you when she got separated from a group. You taught her some things, like how to trap and track animals, what to avoid when foraging. She’d left looking for a settlement you’d heard rumors of near the coast. You’d always hoped that she’d made it. Apparently she hadn’t. You didn’t know if it was infected or the men standing in front of you that did it but it didn’t matter. You knew you didn’t trust them. 

“When.” 

“Few weeks back,” he said. 

“She who told you about me?” You asked. 

He smirked. 

���Not exactly,” he said. “Been looking for you for a while. You’re a hard woman to find.” 

“Plan to stay that way,” you said, finger drifting to the trigger. “I’ve got four rounds in this, don’t remember the last time I missed. You can turn, go and forget you ever found me. Or, I can kill you. But you’re not leavin’ with another of my horses. Up to you.” 

The men looked at each other for a moment before the man on the horse gave you a nod. 

“We’ll be on our way.” 

He tipped his hat to you and you kept your gun trained on him. You gave another whistle and the remaining dogs backed down and you watched them until you couldn’t see them on the horizon anymore. 

It was just two weeks before someone found you again. 

His name was Mitchum. 

July, 2026

Joel’s hand was on your skin when you woke up. 

You’d drifted back into consciousness instead of shocked into it, your body relaxed and enveloped by his. His breath was warm against your head, his nose in your hair. His fingers were pressed into your skin, making little indentations on you in the shape of him and you were acutely aware of his hips and stomach and chest, his legs curled around the back of you. 

It was an odd feeling, strangely connected and disconnected to your body all at once. You could feel the blood moving through your limbs and the heat of Joel against you but your skin was almost numb. You weren’t in pain, in spite of being slammed into Ares’ stall door and thrown to the ground. You didn’t want to move, didn’t want to disturb this quiet peace that had settled over you. 

But as you slowly settled back into yourself, you realized something. There was an unfamiliar sensation between your thighs, slick and cool. You frowned and slowly slipped your palm into your shorts. You delicately traced your slit before bringing your hand in front of your face, fingers glistening. 

You stared at them for a second. You were wet. Something over night had made you get wet. 

It had been years since you’d last been wet because you wanted someone. Everything had been protection, your body trying to preserve itself, to make it hurt less. This was different. You weren’t sure how you knew but you did. Your face got hot. 

There was a tightness in you, you realized as you became more aware of your body again, a heat that you weren’t quite sure what to do with. All you knew was that Joel didn’t feel close enough to you. 

Just as you were thinking that, considering pressing yourself back against him so you could feel the outline of him more clearly to see if that eased the ache, his grip on you tightened and he gave you a gentle squeeze. His breathing shifted against you and he pressed his face closer to you. You quickly pressed your fingers into the leg of your shorts, wiping them clean. 

“Joel,” you said softly. 

He adjusted at your back. 

“Mornin’,” he sounded tired, only half awake. You swallowed past the knot in your throat. His nose nuzzled into your hair. You hesitated for a moment put pressed yourself back against him, the aching tightness in you easing at the contact.You focused on the feel of him for a moment, all firm but gentle. You weren’t sure how long you lay there like that with him when his hold on you loosened. 

“You OK?” His voice was gruff but tender, quiet. You pressed yourself back a little closer and his hand sank deeper into your flesh. You nodded ever so slightly. “Good.” 

His hand spread a little more against you and your smaller hand went over the top of his, a low, soft whimper slipping from your lips. 

“Bambi,” his voice was low and warm. 

“Yes?” 

“Should…” he took a deep, shaky breath against you. “Should go find Maria.” 

“Yes,” your voice trembled as you said it. 

“S’it OK if we stay like this another minute?” he sounded strained. You pressed your hand against his and he gasped quietly. “I just… I want…” 

“Yes,” you breathed, cutting him off. 

He held you like that for a few minutes, both of you silent outside of your quiet, needy breaths. 

“C’mon,” he said eventually, pulling his hand away from you. “Should get moving.” 

You separated from him slowly, reluctantly, and went upstairs to get changed. 

It felt like you should be grateful for the distance. A chance to reset your mind after it had been clouded by his proximity all night. But, even as the heat and tightness in you faded, you still felt like he was too far away. You wanted him closer. 

You shook yourself mentally and checked the bruise at your side before you gently cleaned between your legs. You put on Joel’s most recent shirt over a t-shirt before heading downstairs. 

“Ready?” Joel asked, sitting politely on your couch. 

“Yeah,” you nodded. 

“I can’t figure out Ben’s role in all this,” Joel said, his hands in his pockets as the two of you walked through the hazy dawn toward Maria and Tommy’s. “Simon’s a piece of shit but…” 

“I met him once,” you cut Joel off. “Before.” 

He turned to look at you so quick it made you jump a little. 

“He hurt you before?” He asked, his voice low and dangerous. 

“No,” you said, though you weren’t sure that was entirely true. Someone had told Mitchum where you were. He was on the last group to come through. “But he wasn’t happy with me then, either. He and his buddies showed up on a horse I’d trained, they either took him from a dead woman or cut it away from her. So I told them they wouldn’t get any horses from me. They didn’t like that much.” 

You hadn’t remembered him until that morning, just an ominous familiarity hanging over you whenever you looked at him. But you knew him. He’d been one of the two men on their feet, your dogs had nearly taken him down at the ankles. 

You didn’t tell Joel about your suspicion, that he’d sold you out to Mitchum when you’d refused to give him a horse.

Joel nodded slowly as the two of you came up to Tommy and Maria’s front walk. He knocked on the door and you could hear the shrieking toddler laugh from inside somewhere. You smiled at the sound. 

It took a minute for Maria to open the door, William on her hip. 

“Not a great morning,” she said, a little frazzled. “What’s up?” 

“We got a problem,” Joel said, his hand going to your lower back as he stepped a little closer to you. “Can’t wait.” 

***

Joel fought to keep himself under control as you told Maria and Tommy everything that had happened the night before. How Simon and Ben had cornered you in the stable, how Simon told Ben to watch how he marked you so they could pass your death off as an accident, how they’d trapped you in the stall, willing to wait for one hoof to come down on your body in just the right way. 

He clenched is fist. His blood was hot. Someone had tried to hurt you, pulled you away from right beside to him and tried to kill you. 

“Know where they are now?” Maria asked, her face hard. 

“If they got a lick of sense they took off,” Tommy said, his arms crossed over his chest as his eyes raked over you again and again. “No way they stayed in town.” 

Maria nodded. 

“Joel, Tommy, go out and bring them back,” she said. “You’re two of our best trackers, I trust that you’ll find them. And when I say bring them back, I mean bring them back. They’ll face trial and punishment assuming they’re found guilty. You’re not judge, jury and executioner here.” 

“They ain’t gonna come quietly, baby,” Tommy frowned. “May not have another choice…” 

“Don’t get yourselves hurt but do what you can,” she said. “Take some horses and track them down as best you can. If you haven’t found them in two days, come back.” 

You wrapped your arms around your waist and clenched your jaw and Joel stepped a little closer to you. You leaned into him. 

“Lemme grab some stuff,” Tommy said to the two of you. “Meet you at the stables in half an hour.” 

Joel walked you to the stables and you insisted you were fine to be in there alone, already going about the work of getting his and Tommy’s horses ready to go. He reluctantly left you to it, going home to quickly pack a bag of his own before going back to you. 

Being that far from you made him uneasy. He was certain Tommy was right, that Simon and Ben had left town. But it made him nervous. You were in danger and he was leaving you alone. He was about to leave you even more alone than he was now. It felt wrong. He should be close to you, protecting you. 

But this was better, it would keep you safer. He knew that. He just had to convince himself of it. 

You were finishing saddling up Tommy’s horse when Joel made it back to the stables. He wordlessly started working on his own, the two of you putting the tack on together. 

“I’m gonna go check their houses,” Tommy said, mounting his horse. “See you up front in a few?” 

He gave Joel a meaningful look. Joel narrowed his eyes at him. 

“See you there.” 

Joel gave Tommy a moment to get out of earshot before he turned to you. Your arms were crossed tightly over yourself again, your eyes wide and doe-like. You looked afraid. It made Joel’s chest hurt. 

“Hey,” he said gently. Your wide eyes met his for a moment before tracing over his face. “Nothing is going to happen to you…” 

You frowned, your eyebrows knitting together. 

“What?” Joel frowned, too. 

“You think that’s what I’m worried about?” You asked. “Joel, I don’t want you going out there and getting hurt because of me, I…” 

He stepped closer to you and you went silent, looking up at him. 

“Bambi,” he said softly, looking into your eyes, into you. “Nothin’ is going to happen to me.” 

“Joel…” 

He completely closed the distance between you and you dropped your arms to your sides so the front of you was just inches from the front of him. His hand slowly, delicately, came to your face and cupped your cheek, his thumb against your cheekbone, his fingers wrapping back and down around the column of your throat. It felt like he was holding the entire world in his palm, your wide eyes soft and earnest. 

“Not going to let anyone hurt you, Sweetheart,” he said, voice quiet. “I’m going to take care of you. I’m going to keep you safe.” 

He leaned his head toward yours, slowly and deliberately, giving you every opportunity to pull away, You didn’t take it. Instead, you stayed stock still and your breath caught in your throat with a quiet little gasp when he pressed his lips to your forehead, his nose in your hair. He kissed your soft, smooth skin for what felt like an eternity but nowhere near long enough. Joel pulled back from you ever so slightly, his forehead dropping to your own, his nose brushing yours. You closed your eyes for a moment, your breaths coming in shuddering little pants, your lips so close to his it almost hurt.  

“I will protect you,” he whispered. “I promise you I will.” 

Joel met Tommy at the main gate, feeling your eyes on him as he rode away, and the two of them set out, silent, into the foggy morning air. They started by circling the city, finding the footprints in the mud that gathered around the fence that surrounded the town. 

“Fuckers,” Tommy muttered, looking up and Joel as he did. “Think we can track ‘em?” 

“I’m not comin’ back ’til we do,” Joel said, his voice dark. 

The tracks disappeared into the woods and, once the two of them were far enough away from Jackson, Joel looked at Tommy. 

Joel had come to admire his little brother in the years since he’d come to Jackson, not that he would admit that. 

For a long time, he’d felt like more of a father to Tommy than a brother. Joel was just six years older than him but, once their parents had both died, it felt like he had to step up. Sarah was barely a year old, Tommy was just 17 and on the verge of flunking out of high school. He had to pay the rent and put food on the table and make sure his brother didn’t drop out and keep a baby alive. It was like he was treading water at best, damn near drowning most of the time, but he’d kept it together. He’d all but begged Tommy to join the military, do something that would keep him out of prison and keep his feet on the ground. 

And then the Gulf War started and Joel spent years horrified that he might have gotten his brother hurt, gotten his brother killed. 

Tommy came back different. Instead of getting picked up for shoplifting, he started getting picked up for brawling. Joel had to bail him out again and again, ended up on the hook for Tommy’s rent after he cosigned for his apartment, needed to help him figure out a new car after Tommy wrapped his around a tree. Eventually, he told Tommy that he needed to get his shit together. He could either start working contractor jobs with Joel or he’d be on his own. Joel couldn’t keep letting Tommy derail things for him and Sarah and it killed him to give him that ultimatum. 

But Tommy managed it. Mostly. He still wound up in trouble sometimes. Joel still had to make sure he was actually fucking eating real food and not just jerky and candy from the gas station or pick him up at the jail after a scuffle. But he was getting close, so damn close, to having the life Joel knew he could have if he just tried for it when the world ended. When Joel’s world ended. When Sarah died. 

Things devolved then. Tommy was his only reason for living, for a while. There were times he wasn’t enough to stick around for but Joel just kept on living, anyway. He often wasn’t sure why. 

They did bad things then, when Joel stopped caring. They hurt innocent people, killed innocent people, helped people even worse than them gain power and control in the increasingly dangerous and chaotic hellscape that had once been the United States. A lot of people suffered because of them. But they’d survived. For better or worse, they’d lived. 

Joel wasn’t sure why, for a while. He supposed it was stupid to believe there was a purpose for it all, like the universe was suddenly going to succumb to reason after everything that had happened, but it felt like there had to be something. 

Now, he knew why. 

He had Ellie, of course. And now you. That was reason enough. But Tommy… Tommy had managed to actually make something of himself in spite of everything. He’d found Maria, made a place for himself in Jackson - and actually made the damn place better - and he’d become the father that Joel always knew he had the potential to be. 

It threw Joel a bit, sometimes, that Tommy was the one who looked out for him. The one Joel needed to come to for help. He didn’t like it, that loss of control. But there were times he still needed his brother.

Times like this one. 

“I know what Maria said…” Joel began but Tommy cut him off. 

“They ain’t comin’ back to Jackson.” 

Joel was silent for a moment. 

“You know what you’re sayin’, Tommy?” 

“I’m sayin’ that we’re going to handle this shit the way we used to,” Tommy said. “Wasn’t always right but it was always a way to protect what matters. And she don’t just matter to you, Joel. She might be your girl but I care about her, too. She already feels like family. She might be a pain in the ass but she’s my pain in the ass. Anyone wants to fuck with her will have to go through me. 

“Besides. Can’t have men like that around Maria and William and Ellie. Ain’t safe. I’m sure they’ll put up a decent fight ‘fore we kill ‘em. Won’t even be a lie, then.” 

Joel nodded once. 

“Good.” 

They tracked the men through the day, the two of them clearly hadn’t stopped after fleeing the day before and it was close to nightfall when Joel started noticing signs of them slowing down. Footsteps were dragging through the brush and the mud, leaves were crushed or stripped away from places where branches had been grabbed for support. 

Joel was on edge, the hair on the back of his neck on end when Tommy gave a short whistle. When Joel looked at him, he indicated with his eyes what he was concerned with. A tree just off the trail, a lower branch snapped like someone too big had tried to use it to leverage themselves up. Joel nodded slightly and only once. They had to be close, very very close. He slung his rifle off his back and tucked it against his body where he could quickly aim and fire it. He had the sense that it wouldn’t be long until he needed it. 

Joel was right. 

It was only a few minutes later that, with a desperate wail, Simon leapt at Joel, a knife clutched in his ruddy hand. Joel reacted quickly, swinging the butt of the rifle around and slamming it into the man’s head. He dropped like a stone to the ground and Joel and Tommy quickly dismounted as Ben charged forward. Joel raised his rifle and shot him in the hip, the man screaming and falling to the ground, writhing in pain. 

“Stick with him,” Joel said, nodding to Ben. “This one’s mine.” 

Simon was still shaking off Joel’s hit when he dropped a knee to the prone man’s chest, ripping the knife from his grip and pressing it to his throat. 

Part of Joel knew he shouldn’t take any pleasure in this. That hurting and killing someone - even someone like Simon - should take something from him. And it did once, what felt like long ago. But it didn’t anymore, not when hurting and killing would keep you safe. He liked keeping you safe.

Simon’s hands clawed and Joel’s arms and he ignored it, cocking his head slightly as he looked at the man below him. 

“You got a few options here, Simon,” Joel said, his voice flat. 

“Fuck you,” he spat. 

“Not one of ‘em,” Joel replied. “You ain’t making it out of this alive, you decided that for yourself when you put hands on her…” 

“Your obsession with that fucking cunt…” 

Joel curled the hand not holding the knife into a fist and brought it down quick and hard on Simon’s face, making him cry out. Joel felt the man’s nose collapse below his knuckles. 

“You only got so many breaths left,” Joel said, flexing his fingers, knuckles stinging. “Wouldn’t waste ‘em making shit worse for yourself. Cooperate and I’ll give you a quick death. Don’t and I’ve got all night.” 

“Fuck you,” he panted through gritted teeth. “And fuck her, too.” 

Joel sighed and grabbed Simon’s nose roughly between his fingers, making him cry out. Joel twisted it sharply, harshly, to the side, almost pulling his flesh apart. He could feel the cartilage moving under his touch, the gush of blood, the thrashing of the man below him. It was satisfying, this form of justice. He was doing something, he was making sure that he wasn’t going to fail with you. It felt, maybe not good, but right. 

He released Simon’s nose and grabbed a fistful of his hair, forcing him to look up at Joel. 

“Haven’t done this in a while,” Joel said, a little breathless. “Thinkin’ I should make the most of it, what do you think, Tommy?” 

Joel looked over at him. He was standing over Ben, gun trained on him. 

“Just thinkin’ that we needed somethin’ fun to do tonight,” he said. 

Joel smirked. 

“Just thinkin’ that, too.” 

“Wait,” Ben said, his hands up by his face in surrender. “Wait, please, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, I just don’t want to die here, please…” 

Tommy looked at Joel who shrugged. Joel had no intention of letting him live. Neither did Tommy. Ben didn’t need to know that. 

“We can work somethin’ out,” Tommy said, gun still aimed at the man on the ground. “Answer my brother’s questions and we’ll talk.” 

“You workin’ with anyone else in Jackson?” Joel asked. 

“No,” Ben said quickly, voice panicky. Joel bought it. He was answering too fast and was too afraid for it to be a lie. “No, it was just us, just the two of us, I thought it was too far but…” 

Joel looked down at Simon. 

“That true?” 

Simon just panted for breath and glared up at Joel. He thought for a moment and pulled the knife from his throat and put the tip of it against his eye, a fraction of an inch away. 

“Asked if that was true,” Joel said. “Better have a fuckin’ answer.” 

“It’s true,” Simon said quickly. “It’s true, it’s true. There wasn’t anyone else involved, just us, please…” 

“Anything you left behind that’s going to hurt her?” Joel asked, looking back toward Ben but keeping the knife near Simon’s eye. 

“No,” Ben said quickly. Again, it rang true. “No, we thought… we figured the horse would do it and it wasn’t like we’d planned it for long, we thought it would look like an accident, please I’m begging you…” 

Joel delicately pressed the tip of the blade into Simon’s bottom eyelid. His breathing picked up but he stayed still as a tiny bead of blood appeared on the knife. 

“He telling us the truth?” He asked. 

“Yes,” Simon said quickly, eyes shut tight. “Fuck, yes Miller, we just decided to, please…” 

Joel nodded before pulling the knife from Simon’s eye. 

“Why’d you do it?” He asked as the man slowly, cautiously opened his eyes. “Why did you decide to go after her?” 

Simon looked afraid now. Like he finally, truly understood what was about to happen. He swallowed and Joel watched his throat working, aware for a moment that it was one of the last times his body would perform that function. 

“I didn’t have shit after the outbreak,” he said, starting to hyperventilate. “Everything I knew, everything I loved was gone and then I had my place here and she took that from me. She fuckin’ took it and she disrespected me at every goddamn turn and I just…” 

“She didn’t take a damn thing,” Joel was talking through gritted teeth. You hadn’t even wanted Simon’s fucking job and he’d tried to kill you for it. “You lost it by being a fucking idiot and you tried to take it out on her.” 

He seemed to recognize then that there was no merciful way out of this. There never had been. His face twisted into something rage-filled and hateful, snarling up at Joel. 

“She doesn’t belong here. She’s barely even fucking human, she’s more like those goddamn horses! She’s fucking feral and I was the only one willing to try to break her…” 

Joel let out a roar as he brought his fist down on Simon’s face again and again and again, until he was barely breathing, his features nothing but bloody pulp. 

“Joel,” Tommy said as Joel panted, his hand damaged and coated in red. “Just finish the fucker.” 

Joel nodded once, pulling his knee off Simon’s chest and sitting back on his heels, thrusting his knife low in the man’s stomach. Simon managed a grunt of pain but nothing else as Joel dragged the knife up through his innards until he met his breastbone. He stood up, looking at the man’s mangled body. 

“He’ll die slow,” Tommy’s gun was still on Ben. 

“Better than he deserved,” Joel said, stalking over to Ben and jerking his head so Tommy stepped to the side. He went down on one knee near Ben’s head, a perverse proposal. “Another few questions, just for you. Then we can talk about a deal.” 

There wouldn’t be a deal. 

“Please,” Ben whimpered, blood coating his stomach now. His skin was pale. 

“You knew her,” Joel said. “From before. That right?” 

“Yes,” he nodded quickly. “Yeah, I did. Traveled with some guys for a bit, heard she’d trade for horses. She wouldn’t trade with us, pissed off the others, made life fuckin’ difficult for a while and I didn’t think he was going to try to kill her, please, I swear I didn’t think it was going to go that far, I promise I won’t even look at her again, please.” 

“Before,” Joel said, fighting to keep calm, remembering what you’d told him that morning. It felt like so long ago now, waking up next to you, feeling you in his arms. You trusted him. You trusted him to be near you, to touch you, to protect you. You didn’t trust anyone else but you trusted him. “Before you came to Jackson, when you tried to trade with her. You do anything to her then?” 

“Told some folks where to find her,” he said. “That’s all.” 

Joel nodded. 

“Anyone else you know outside Jackson know where she is?” He asked. 

“No,” he said quickly. “No, haven’t talked to anyone since I got here. Please, I promise I won’t…” 

Joel thrust the knife into his throat before he finished his sentence, his eyes going wide in shock before he went limp. Joel watched Ben’s blood pool on the dirt, soaking into the soil at first before collecting in a thick puddle, dark and warm on the ground. He pulled the knife free and wiped it on the man’s jeans before he stood, putting it away. 

Tommy looked up toward the darkening sky for a moment. 

“Head back about half a mile then stop for the night?” he said. “Put some distance between us and the bodies ‘fore the animals get to ‘em.” 

“Yeah,” Joel nodded. “Sounds good.” 

Joel and Tommy agreed on a story as they set up camp for the night, one that was almost the truth. The two men jumped them. They’d had no choice but to shoot them. Unfortunate but Jackson would be safe. 

Getting back to town was faster than getting out of it, no longer needing to actively track the men and instead just find their way back home, and the sun was still up when they reached the gates. 

Joel wasn’t expecting you to be at the stables when he got there. It was late enough that you should be at the mess hall for dinner or home and he had every intention of settling his horse down as quickly as he could before finding you but he didn’t need to. You were curled up in a corner of the stables near the tack, your eyes closed, head resting against the stable wall. You were in the same clothes you’d been wearing yesterday. Joel frowned. Hadn’t you been home? He unbuckled his saddle and put it away before kneeling next to you, taking your face in his large hand the same way he’d done the morning before. You startled, eyes shooting open, afraid for a moment before softening when you realized it was him. 

“Joel,” you gasped it, throwing your arms around his neck, your whole body following, nearly knocking him down. He hesitated for a moment before he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him. “I was so worried, I didn’t… I’m so glad you’re back.” 

“Me too, Sweetheart,” one of his hands went to the back of your head, holding you gently. 

“Did you…” you began, but he cut you off, still holding onto you. 

“They’re dead,” he said. Your breath caught for a moment and he pulled you closer. You were soft and warm and whole and alive. He’d kept you safe. He hadn’t failed you, not this time. “Not going to hurt you again.” 

“Joel…” your voice trailed off, sounding sad. He pulled back from you enough that he could see your face, your eyes searching his. He brushed your hair back. 

“C’mon,” he said softly. “Let’s go home.” 

Next Chapter

A/N: FERAL JOEL

FERAL JOEL

FERAL JOELLLLLLLL :D

And everything else about this chapter, too 😌 Seriously, these two are sooooooo close to stuff happening. So so so so so so so so close, I promise they are.

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Thanks for enduring the slow burn of it all, everyone, and thank you for being here. Love you!!

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[lgbtqreads]

Hi! I would love to hear some of your all time favourties :)

Okay, but as long as we acknowledge it’s just some. I always accidentally leave out huge favorites! (All links are to Bookshop, except where they don’t carry said book, because may as well treat yourself and support LGBTQReads and independent bookstores at the same time, right?)

YA Thriller: 

Female protag: Sadie by Courtney Summers

Male protag: Last Seen Leaving by Caleb Roehrig

Contemporary YA Romance

m/m: Beating Heart Baby by Lio Min 

f/f: She Gets the Girl by Alyson Derrick and Rachael Lippincott

m/f: Hot Dog Girl by Jennifer Dugan

Heavier contemporary YA, all of which totally coincidentally have bi protags:

Full Disclosure by Camryn Garrett

The Last True Poets of the Sea by Julia Drake

Girl Made of Stars by Ashley Herring Blake 

Every Time You Hear That Song by Jenna Voris

History is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera 

It Goes Like This by Miel Moreland (Please read it if you’re a fan of stuff like Daisy Jones and the Six, pleeeease)

Paranormal YA:  Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

YA Sci-fi: The Disasters by MK England

YA Fantasy:

Standalone: Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust

Duology: The Midnight Lie by Marie Rutkoski

Trilogy: Black Wings Beating by Alex London

YA Horror: The City Beautiful by Aden Polydoros

YA Magical Realism: Wild Beauty by Anna-Marie McLemore

YA Fabulism: This Rebel Heart by Katherine Locke

Historical YA: The above two titles and Self-Made Boys by Anna-Marie McLemore

YA Graphic Novels:

Male protag: Flamer by Mike Curato

Female protag: Mooncakes by Suzanne Walker and Wendy Xu (but truly, The Princess and the Grilled Cheese Sandwich by Deya Muniz is right behind it)

New Adult Romance:

m/m: Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston

f/f: Treasure by Rebekah Weatherspoon

m/f: Hold Me by Courtney Milan

Adult Contemporary Romance:

m/m: The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun

f/f:  Mistakes Were Made by Meryl Wilsner

m/f: The Intimacy Experiment by Rosie Danan

polyam: Triple Sec by TJ Alexander (f/f/gq)

Adult Historical Romance:

m/m: We Could Be So Good by Cat Sebastian

f/f: The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite

Adult Contemporary Fiction:

In at the Deep End by Kate Davies

The Guncle by Steven Rowley

Endpapers by Jennifer Savran Kelly

Body Grammar by Jules Ohman

Adult Mystery Series:

Contemporary: Roxane Weary by Kristen Lepionka

Historical: Evander Mills by Lev A.C. Rosen 

Adult Thriller: 

Male protag: Yes, Daddy by Jonathan Parks-Ramage

Female protag: Temper by Layne Fargo

Adult Horror: Tripping Arcadia by Kit Mayquist

Adult Science Fantasy: Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (adult science fantasy)

Adult Fantasy: 

Standalone: The Book Eaters by Sunyi Dean

Series: The Unspoken Name by AK Larkwood (please for the love of god at least try this if you’re a huge fan of Gideon already)

Adult Sci-Fi: This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

[commanderbuffy]

Sapphic Books Reccs

Here is my list of recommended sapphic books! There’s a lot of YA here since that’s a lot of what I read. Everything on this list I have personally read and can recommend. I’m sure there’s a TON out there I haven’t read or ones I have read and have just forgotten!

Contemporary

Astrid Parker Doesn’t Fail by Ashley Herring Blake (Adult)

My favorite of Blake’s! Enemies to lovers. SO good.

Delilah Green Doesn’t Care by Ashley Herring Blake (Adult)

A woman falls for her step-sister’s best friend. Oh, and there’s a kiddo in the mix as well.

The Falling in Love Montage by Ciara Smyth (YA)

Two girls promise a summer of fun full of rom-com worthy dates. The only rule, no relationships. Just one summer, nothing more. Sure....

Forget Me Not by Alyson Derrick (YA)

Amnesia fic where a girl forgets she ever met her secret girlfriend in their ultra-conservative town.

Hani and Ishu’s Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar (YA)

Fake dating between the girl who wants to validate her bisexuality to her friends and the girl who doesn’t mind the popularity boost.

Her Name in the Sky by Kelly Quindlen (YA)

Best friends to lovers! A big piece of this is also the friend group involved.

Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli (YA)

Imogen thinks she’s just an Ally. Spoiler alert: she’s not. I loved the way friendship was explored in this. You see some really solid friendships as well as a subtly toxic one (that’s acknowledged as such).

Late to the Party by Kelly Quindlen (YA)

An ode to late bloomers and a journey to self-acceptance. A girl goes to her first party, befriends a gay guy who introduces her to new group of friends and one really cute girl

Margo Zimmerman Gets the Girl by Brianna Shrum and Sara Waxelbaum (YA)

Super fun involving a girl asking another girl fo “Queer 101″ lessons. Bi and Autistic rep too!

Perfect on Paper by Sophie Gonzales (YA)

A girl gives anonymous love advice and gets hired by a hot guy to help him get his ex back. Really FANTASTIC bi rep!

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston (Adult)

A sexy time-bendy romance with so much heart

She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen (YA)

My FAVORITE rom-com. I reread it constantly. Fake dating, enemies-to-lovers between the cheer captain and basketball star!!

She Gets the Girl by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derrick (YA)

Two girl team up to get their crushes to fall for them and start developing feelings for each other along the way.

Six Times We Almost Kissed by Tess Sharpe (YA)

Childhood frenemies forced to move in together for their best friend moms’ sake. Trauma filled and SO SO good.

Some Girls Do by Jennifer Dugan (YA)

A fun rom-com between an out queer athlete and the local beauty pageant queen.

We Are Okay by Nina LaCour (YA)

One of my favorite books of all time. A story about grief and friendship and love. A soft, quiet story.

Who I Was With Her by Nita Tyndall (YA)

A girl’s secret girlfriend dies and she is left to grieve alone until she finds herself turning to her girlfriend’s ex.

Science Fiction/Fantasy

Crier’s War by Nina Varela (YA)

A romance that leads to revolution by between two girls: one human, one Made

The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow (Adult)

This is historical and fantasy! Suffragette witches! Another one of those books I wish I could read again for the first time. Three sisters, one of them has a WLW romance

Thriller/Horror

Hide by Kiersten White (Adult)

A high-stakes hide and seek competition in an abandoned amusement park. One of my all-over favorite books of 2022.

House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland (YA)

No wlw romance in this one, but the main character and her sister are both wlw. My absolute favorite book of 2021. What I would pay to read this for the first time again.

The Girls I’ve Been by Tess Sharpe (YA)

The daughter of a con artist is finally allowed to stop running and faking her identity, only to get stuck in a bank heist with her ex-boyfriend and current girlfriend.

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand (YA)

Three girls who shouldn’t have a reason to team up together against an ancient evil. The new girl, the pariah, and the queen bee who’s been helping the evil all along. I have reread this book easy a dozen times.

Throwaway Girls by Andrea Contos (YA)

When a girl goes searching for her missing best friend, she finds a trail of other missing girls and battles with heartbreak after her girlfriend leaves her for California.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power (YA)

Quarantined at her girl’s school after a gruseome Tox breaks out, a girl must find what happened to her best friend who’s gone missing

Historical

Great or Nothing by Joy McCullough, Caroline Tung Richmond, Tess Sharpe, and Jessica Spotswood (YA)

The queer Little Women retelling we all deserve with a SAPPHIC JO! Set in 1942. Beth’s POV still haunts my heart

A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray (YA)

Two of the major supporting characters are WLW. This becomes more important and on the page in the later books in this series, but this is the first one.

Music from Another World by Robin Talley (YA)

1970s California. Two girls become penpals and bond over music.

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid (Adult)

Hollywood icon Evelyn Hugo famously had seven husbands. This is the story of her wife.

[writtenbyyunjin]

PAIRING : huh yunjin x reader (wlw)

GENRE : fluff, gl

WARNINGS : none :3

ADVICE : listen to “the night we met” while reading for a better experience ;)

E N J O Y ! ! : )

———————————————————————

it was a late summer night, and as always, you were walking down the desert streets, the weather was perfect : not that hot but yet not that cold. you were making your way to the park while you have your headphones on, listening to “the night we met” by lord huron. as you enter the park, you see a sudden silhouette of someone being sat on a bench, alone. usually, nobody was around the park at this time at night, but you said nothing. you really wanted to see who is it, but what if it was a bad guy? you take off one of your headphone from your ear as you silently approach the bench by behind, and you suddenly feel the wind blowing your hair away, and to your greatest surprise, you see this stranger's hair flying in the air, so you come to the conclusion that this is a girl.

when you take a step, a tiny branch breaks when you step on it and you automatically stop breathing as you see the woman turn around. only the street lamp illuminates her body, and you think that she is immediately magnificent : she has dark hair and almond-shaped eyes, she is wearing a long white skirt with a top and a jacket. she stares at you and you immediately feel nervous. a long silence settles between you two but finally, she finally breaks it by saying something…

“the night’s really calm, don’t you think?” she asks in a sweet tone

but you say nothing, completely speechless by the fact that she speaks to you like nothing while the both of you are just strangers to each other. but as you see her tap the free place next to her on the bench, you finally move and sit next to her. you suddenly speak after a while.

“the night’s really… relaxing” you says with a smile

she continues to look at the silence of the empty park and you can’t help but look discreetly at her and you think that she is really pretty.

after few minutes, there was a silence between you two, but it was not the embarrassing one but the relaxing one : the wind was blowing a little and the atmosphere seems really cozy. as you think about it, she finally notice that you have one of your headphone on and she asks.

“you listen to music? i love music a lot” she says

“yes, i love music a lot” you answer with a smile

after few seconds, you two laugh in unison, but as you hear her laugh, you can’t help but feel a strange feeling in your stomach, but it was a pleasant one. you two continue to cherish the moment before she finally speaks again.

“what’s your name?” she asks

“my… my name’s y/n” you hesitate but then say with a smile

she smiles back at you and finally answer to you with still that smile of her as she looks straight at your face, what makes you a bit anxious.

“my name’s yunjin, but everyone calls me jennifer” she says with this calm tone of her

you can’t help but smile from ear to ear to her answer, her name was as pretty as her face, and you already like her. after few minutes, she finally get up from the bench and look at you as she says.

“i unfortunately have to go, it starts to be pretty late, maybe we could see each other again by chance? you looks very nice without lying” she says

“of course, it was great to meet you.. yunjin” you says with a little smile.

she smiles at your answer and then proceeds to land her phone from her pocket as she asks a bit shyly.

“maybe we could get to know each other more by texting each other, don’t you think?” she says with a nervous laugh

you just smile softly at her as you write your phone number on her phone and as you land it back to her. yunjin puts it instantly back in her pocket and make her way to left before she says as she turns around to look at you for the last time.

“it was great to meet you, y/n”

she says with a smile before she leaves the park and suddenly the wind blows.

something says to you that it is not the last time you’ll see her here…

[universallydestinytaco]

Even More Silly and Irreverent SF Headcanons

Warning: This glorified shitpost contains a heavy dose of MLM (Morons loving Morons)

EDIT: So apparently in the Spanish Dub for SF Charlie's girlfriend is named Zoey and I made this post before that info became more well-known and prior I dubbed her as Susan....Zoey is a cute name OMG

This one time Charlie, Dj Spitz, Glep, Mr. Frog, Jennifer, Shrimp and one reluctant Alan all decided to spend one April Fools day split into street gangs competing to see who could prank the most people within 24 hours before everyone involved was tossed in the county jail until Pim and a pissed off Zoey had to bail them all out the morning after.

Simon S. Salty tried to bribe his way into the Pearly Gates of Heaven with coupons at his shoddy restaurant but God was so offended by the mere idea of eating his slop that he told St. Peter to press the big red button to open the trapdoor under Salty’s feet to H-E-double hockey sticks so he can go peddle his 2-bit McDonalds knock off to those who truly deserve it. Eat up Satan ya big red loser!!!

Pim is actually much stronger than he looks, he can open pickle jars with one turn of the wrist and he can carry Charlie over his head while running a mile without breaking a sweat (or his spine for that matter).

Charlie bamboozled the entire internet by editing The Mr. Frog Show wiki by adding fake episodes with a source that lead to the famous RickRoll video, only for everyone to read him the riot act when he accidentally exposed himself. Hah! That idiot.

One hot summer day Glep spat on the sidewalk and the spit droplet just sizzled and evaporated into steam….from that point onward Glep has been trying to convince his co-workers that he can literally spit fire and when trying to prove such a claim he spat into Charlie’s coffee.

Pim and Zoey had to bail Charlie out of jail once again for attempted murder (See the HC above for the reason why).

Mr Boss was cursed into turning into an owl beast in his sleep and he has to take a potion once a day to keep him normal, hence why he was freaking out at the end of S2E1.

Alan wears a skin-tight red jumpsuit under his neck and tie and underneath all that he has goofy-print boxers with a smiley face patch on the seat.

Pim is still friends with Jennifer even after the initial mix up when he introduced her to Shrimp. She gives him special “Thank You” coffee and treats in the house every year on her and Shrimp’s anniversary.

Smormu does makeup tutorials and travel vlogs on YouTube.

Charlie found out that Pim and Susan both crush on him and decided: “Why not?” Thus was the beginning of a beautiful polycule.

James what super jealous and was ready to reap his revenge until Charlie pulled a Saitama and punched James in the nose so hard that he whimpered away like a pitiable little biyatch!!

Glep, Pim and Smormu went to Miku Expo cosplaying as The Triple Baka Squad (Pim called dibs on Miku).

Alan attends Beatnik Poetry Night with Glep on the bongos.

Smormu started dating Dj Spitz and lemme tell ya he is VIOLENTLY protective of her, Whoever killed Canon!Smormu wouldn’t stand a chance against this guy.

[grantmentis]

Women’s Hockey News and Transactions 7/1-7/30

I hope everyone is having a great summer! This will cover major news and transactions in women’s pro/proam hockey around the world, though I may miss some things due to language barrier, so feel free to add! I also try to add a little more context to overseas leagues transactions as I know that may be unfamiliar/news less readily available to some, so the PWHL ones are just lists. A few more minor may be omitted for brevity (ie a player going from a franchises u18 team to the major team)

PWHL (USA/Canada)

Retiring: Amanda Leveille

PWHL Boston has signed: Daniela Pejšová (drafted, luleå) for three years, Emma Greco (PWHL Minnesota) for one year, Hannah Bilka (drafted) for three years, and Sydney Bard (drafted) for three years

PWHL New York has signed: Noora Tulus (drafted, Luleå) for two years, Maja Nylén Persson (drafted, Brynäs) for three years,

PWHL Ottawa has signed: Kateřina Mrázová (extension) for two more years, Gwyneth Phillips (drafted) for two years

PWHL Toronto has signed; Carly Jackson (extension) for one year

PWHL Montreal has signed: Jennifer Gardiner (drafted) for two years, Catherine Dubois (extended) for one year, Claire dalton (extended) for one year,

PWHL Minnesota has no new signings to report since 7/1

Lauren Williams named as a PWHL New York assistant coach after several years working behind the bench with Mount Royal University and Stonehill college

Minnesota has fired several bench coaches and are looking into allegation of misconduct from coach Ken Klee

SDHL (Sweden)

Malia Schneider (who played for both Brynäs and PWHL Ottawa last year) joins SDE HF. Joining her is American forward Liliane Perrault, who was briefly with Froluna last year and scored at a point per game clip

Joining a strong SDE defense core is veteran Dominique Kremer, returning to the SDHL after playing for PWHL Minnesota and serving as captain to the Buffalo Beauts

HV71 adds Canadian Forward Kennedy Bobyck from Minnesota State University and Canadian defender Teghan Inglis, who captained Merrimack last year

Japanese national team forward Akane Shiga (PWHL Ottawa) joins Luleå

Finnish national team forward Kiira Yrjänen joins Leksands IF after playing for HV71 last season. Also joining her is one of USports top scorers last year, Canadian forward Lillian George

American forward Kaitlyn O’Donohoe joins Brynäs after a strong five years at Colgate

Skellefteå extends SDHL veteran Ronja Mogren. They also sign American forward Mikayla Lantto who graduated from LIU this last season.

Lisa Östman and Ellen Laurence have both left Djurgården

Djugården also added four players. Three are young Swedes who played for AIK last year: Alva Hellqvist, Tuva Kärrhage, and Isabelle Leijonhielm. Leijonhielm is the biggest name, having some success with the u18 team for Sweden last year. The other added player is 19 year old Czech national team player Tereza Pistekova who played in HPK in Finland last year and had over a point per game pace.

Alexander Hanning returns to Linköping as an assistant coach on a two year deal, having been successful with head coach Thomas Pettersen in the past

Shay Maloney, drafted by PWHL Boston, is back with Leksands IF but with a clause that she can leave to play in PWHL Boston if she earns a spot

Naisten Liiga (Finland)

Retiring: Kiekko Espoo forward Zaida Holmström, who was the long time captain of Mestis team JYP for 6 years. 19 year old Bianca Kanerva, who played for both the Finnish u18 team and Kiekko Espoo last year, has also retired to focus more on her education

Japanese defender Kokoro Ota joins KalPa, She previously played for the Japanese U18 team and for the Seibu Princess Rabbits

KalPa brings back starting goaltender Aino Laitinen and signs Salla Sivula who was one of the main goalies last year for Ilves

Oona Havana has left Kärpät to join the university of Vermont. She was a point per game in 2023 in Naisten Liiga at 17 years old and made the senior national team, but did not play last year due to injury

Written in Finnish, but i highly recommend this article about Viivi Iso-Kouvola talking about Naisten Liiga's current problem and Finnish women's hockey and the financial situation. Currently, most teams are still pay to play, with only HIFK and HPK as exceptions, leaving players to rely on family and sponsorship. As such, the majority of players do not have long term plans to stay in the league and are interested in playing in other leagues instead.

SWHL/PostFinance Women League (Switzerland)

A very active month for ZSC Lions Frauen! Their many addition include former Czech national team captain Alena Polenská (Mills), who played in Russia last year, Josefine Holmgren, a Swedish defender who played in the SDHL for a long time before joining HC Ambrì-Piotta Girls last year and becoming one of their top producers, and Sonja Inkamp, a fast riser in the Swiss leagues who had two goals for the U18 team in the u18 women's worlds last year

Rosalie Bégin-Cyr has joined Neuchâtel Hockey Academy Dames after six strong years in Usports where she won a championship with Concordia University

Some expected but still nice to see confirmed returns, from top 20 goalscorers in the league last seaso: - Sinja Leemann, Alina Marti, Sandy Heim and Lisa Rüedi for ZSC Lions Frauen -Maija Otamo, Emma Ingold, Saskia Maurer, Lara Christen, and Estelle Duvin for SC Bern Frauen -Jenna Kaila, Romy Eggimann for HC Ambrì-Piotta Girls -Cassandra Rensch for HC Fribourg-Gottéron Ladies

EWHL (Central/Eastern Europe + Others)

Speaking of teams that did a lot, MAC Budapest did a ton! This includes: Netherlands national team defender Jet Milders, 19 year old Hungarian goaltender Bianka Bogati who was on the national team but has not appeared in a game yet, university of st thomas graduate and defender Isabel Lippai, Sacred Heart Graduate and American forward Sophie Lupone

SKN Sabres St.Pölten signs Slovenian forward Gaja Pezdir, who impressed at the D1B Worlds and played for Lakers Kärnten last year. They also add Hungarian natioanl team forward Kinga Jókai Szilágyi who played for Skellefteå AIK in Sweden's second tier league and helped them earn SDHL promotion

EV Bozen Eagles sign Kristin Della Rovere from PWHL Ottawa and Italian national team forward Sara Kaneppele, who had played with them previously but spent the past two years in Germany

EC Graz Huskies sign Ukranian national team forward Daria Tsymyrenko, who played a big role on a stacked HC Ambrì-Piotta Girls team last year, and 16 year old Czech defender Hana Panešová who made her international debut with the Czech U18 team last year at worlds and played in both boys and womens leagues in Czechia last year

[jedidiahjunior]

Joy’s sister q&a

So joy had Jennifer, Johanna, Josie, Jana and jordyn over to hang out and do a q&a of generic questions, nothing too salacious.

What about your family are you thankful for?

Joy: how non-confrontational they all are, how they can still hangout even after an agreement (my note: ?????)

What’s something you’ve always wanted to do?

Johanna: wants to learn building stuff like a deck, construction. Also Spanish

Which television family describes your family?

Jennifer: the Bates, joy thinks she should be allowed to say the Duggar family 😅

Who is the most likely to cry over dog commercials?

All: Josie

Who is the least likely to get embarrassed in public?

Jana: joy, maybe Jennifer

What cheers you up when you’ve had a bad day?

Joy: food! Coffee especially

Favorite holiday related memory:

Johanna: making the Easter crafts and cookies

One word to describe the family:

Jennifer: unique (my note: that’s definitely the kindest way to say “99.99999% of the world would NEVER EVER live like us on account of the obvious)

Favorite place you’ve lived?

Jana: the old house, where they lived when Jana was little on account of all the good memories (my note: insane thing to say given what he who shall not be named did there but nostalgia does funny things to a girl)

Best gift ever received?

Jordyn: salvation (my note: 🙄), the American girl dolls she had as a girl (here Josie goes on a tangent about how Tyler tore the head of a doll she was given as a child and Oh Boy do I wish joy had edited that out, especially as Tyler isn’t in jb&ms custody anymore)

Most likely to give good advice?

All: Jana, also joy (my note: of course the 30+ sistermom of 15 gives getter advice than her teenage sisters lmao) Jana will apparently tell it how it is even if it would hurt the person in the moment

Favorite family activity?

Johanna: volleyball, capture the flag. Anything with all of them outside in the summer

A deep passion?

Jennifer: caring for animals

Favorite trip?

Josie: the two month road trip out west (Arkansas to Iowa to Washington to California to Texas to Arkansas again. Not being on tv sure clears up time I guess) also Connecticut

How do you show support to family members?

Jana: babysitting, helping with practical projects (even when not asked)

Talent people don’t know Jordyn has:

Cooking and baking

Current passions/things to learn:

Joy: has recently started baking (only did it once with jinger for the show before)

Josie: what’s to take jumping lessons with her pony

Jennifer: wants to get mini cows (my note: there are mini cows????!?!?? 😍)

Jordyn: wants to improve her volleyball game

Johanna: wants to learn more building and repairing

Jana: learn more medical stuff, whatever that means and also cooking

And then at the end joy gets evy to say the outro spiel which I just…. Think is kind of icky, like family vlogging in general.

[epinebleue]

for him (m) | 02

after a year abroad, you think summer back home can’t get any better. then, a charming ginger boy catches your eye.

pairing: nakamoto yuta x reader (female)

genre: rich kids!au, fluff, angst, mature.

warnings: mention of low self-esteem and racism.

chapter index | previous chapter | next chapter

Every summer, Jennifer’s parents spend two weeks in France to celebrate what they call their “annual honeymoon”.

Every summer, Jennifer throws a pool party while they’re away.

You’re supposed to be at her place at 10 AM to help her prep the space, but having stayed up late the night before, the annoying sound of the alarm does little to wake you up in the morning, Oliver doing so, instead.

You step into Jen’s patio exactly two hours later. She clicks her tongue at you, as if saying: “Finally!”.

Through the dark lenses of your sunglasses, you glance at her body as she approaches. The beautiful baby blue bikini she’s wearing fits her like a glove, as if it had been tailored with her in mind.

You’re used to feeling insecure whenever you’re around Jen. You know you shouldn’t, but you do.

It’s been this way since middle school, when one day the boys in your class rated the girls’ bodies from 1 to 10 on a piece of paper. You came second to last, while Jen’s name sat comfortably in first place.

“I know, I know.” You let out a sigh, allowing Jen to give you a tight hug. “I’m sorry.”

Johnny and Sooyoung wave at you from inside the pool and you wave back, walking to where the rest of your friends are. Wendy, who was sunbathing, sits beside you under the parasol. Victoria gets out of the pool and joins the group soon after.

Once settled on the lounger, you scan the space. Ten and Lucas are sitting on the edge of the pool with sunglasses on, swinging their legs in the water, immersed in what seems an intense conversation. Sooyoung and Johnny splash around as they try to drown each other, much to Yuta’s annoyance, who finds their game an obstacle to what he really wants: swim in peace.

Nothing seems out of the ordinary, but then, the switch in your mind flips: someone’s missing.

“Hey, where’s Chris?”

There’s a moment of silence where Wendy takes a sip of her lemonade, eye-siding Jen. “They argued yesterday.”

Your brunette friend looks away, missing your surprised expression. “Again?”

Chris’ parents are family friends, so you’ve known him for as far as you can remember. However, you had never interacted much until he became Jennifer’s first serious boyfriend.

Being an only child, Chris is expected to inherit his family’s wealth and business. If he’s famous for something, though, that’s his looks. You must admit he’s drop dead gorgeous. Of course, Jen wouldn’t settle for less.

Soon after they started dating, you realized that having a handsome partner had its drawbacks. Jennifer would whine in your group chat every week about how hard it was to stand girls checking him out, how some would go as far as to sneak papers with their phone numbers when she wasn’t looking.

Even if Chris politely rejected their approaches every time, Jennifer started to gradually get sick of the whole situation until, one day, it exploded.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“He’s a Greek statue come to life, Jen, of course he will be hit on!” Wendy says. “You’ve got to learn to cope.”

Jen rolls her eyes at Wendy’s words, a sign she’s getting angry.

“On what side are you on, exactly?”

“We aren’t picking sides.” You try to mediate, making a gesture to your blonde friend, asking for her sun cream. Having prepared your bag in a rush, you must’ve left yours at home. “I know it’s hard to watch people flirt with him all the time. But Wendy has a point, too. Being good-looking isn’t his fault, you know?”

You end your statement with a glance in Victoria’s direction, but the girl doesn’t say a word. She’s the type to not participate in debates like this.

“Exactly!” Wendy agrees, pointing at you. “Besides, he always rejects those advances. He would never hurt your feelings on purpose, Jen. He’s literally the sweetest boy I’ve ever met.”

“Talking about me, I see.”

You turn around to find Yuta standing behind you, soaked from head to toe. A water drop on the tip of his hair falls on his shoulder and you follow it as it slides down his chest and reaches his happy trail.

You fan yourself. Good thing it’s hot today. Otherwise, what would you blame the fire in your belly on? 

Jen chuckles as Yuta sits next to her, seeking protection from the aggressive sun. “Humble as always.”

“I thought I was the nicest boy you’ve ever met.” He shoves her with his shoulder, smiling. You’ve got the urge to look away. The fire in your belly is quickly replaced by an unsettling feeling you’re familiar with.

“After Chris.” Victoria finally speaks. “If that makes you feel better.”

“Not really, but I’ll get over it.” Yuta shrugs. “How come you’re still dry? It’s a pool party, ladies, come on!”

All your friends stand up, encouraged by his words and the terrible heat, and start walking to the pool. Except you. When Yuta notices, he gestures to you to join them.

“I’m not done.” You say, shaking the suncream bottle in the air.

“I’ll wait for you, then.”

“It’s fine.” He sits exactly where he was a few seconds ago. “Just go with the others.”

“Some more time in the shade never hurts.”

“So that’s why you’re here.” You find it hard to hide the disappointment in your tone. “You’ve fooled me. I thought you were a gentleman.”

Yuta leans back, his abs flexing as he speaks. He’s got such a tiny waist, adorned by a tattoo of a butterfly. You wonder if it carries any meaning.

“Oh, but I am.”

“I don’t believe it.” You finish extending the cream on your left arm. “You’ve hung around Ten for too long.”

“Other people’s personalities don’t change mine. I’m not Lucas.”

“Hey, don’t be mean to him.” You’re aware of the bad reputation that precedes Lucas. A drunk heart-to-heart conversation that happened before you went abroad helped you realize Lucas uses his behavior as a mask to hide his numerous insecurities. In a way, you can relate to that. Besides, being the youngest of five successful siblings makes him subject to his parents’ expectations, which tend to be unrealistic. And his brothers, far from supportive, are entitled assholes, straight-up bullies. No wonder he feels he has to act all tough to be taken seriously. “He’s a good kid.”

“Sorry, are we talking about the same person?” You’re about to defend Lucas again, but upon watching you struggle to apply the cream on your back, Yuta interrupts you before you can talk. “Do you need a hand?”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t think I’ll get sunburnt there, anyway.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

Yuta grabs the bottle and sits right behind you, deaf to your words. At his insistence, you reach for your hair with trembling hands. Before you can even move it aside, he does so, his fingers brushing your back in the process.

You hold your breath at the sound of the cream coming out of the bottle. And then, his hands are on you.

You think your heart will jump out of your mouth and start running around the patio.

His warm palms delicately rub the cream into your skin, and you hope he doesn’t notice the goosebumps that bloom when he reaches the small of your back.

God, you’re so touch-starved it’s embarrassing.

You wonder if you’re tripping when Yuta takes a little longer to massage your shoulders. Trying to focus on anything else, your eyes land on Jen, who has joined Lucas and Ten by the edge of the pool. The bikini lets her flat stomach on display. Unconsciously, you suck in yours. She places her hair behind her shoulders as she laughs at something that Ten says.

Even her laugh sounds beautiful, everything about her is!

That must be why Yuta likes her so much.

You stand up, getting as far away from his hands as possible.

“I think that will do.” You say, eyes fixed on the floor, aware of how much you’ve just embarrassed yourself. “Thank you.”

“Sure thing.” His tone remains normal, but if you had looked at him, you would’ve seen him frown at the sudden mood change. Yuta leaves the bottle on the chair and follows you to the pool.

“About time you stopped playing handsies back there.”

You simply lift your middle finger at Ten, quickly making your way towards the staircase, hoping the water will hide your body from the rest.

It’s close to midnight and you’re on the verge of begging your parents to leave.

You’re celebrating the promotion of someone you don’t even know; drinking alcohol-free champagne, which you don’t even like that much; and bored Robinson Crusoe level.

Oliver and Noa left the moment they found their friends. Oli had invited you to join them, but you kindly refused, knowing that you would feel like a babysitter around his friends.

So, here you are, glued to your parents’ side, forced to listen to important conversations with important people, interested in neither.

Why have you been forced to come if your presence isn’t even going to be acknowledged? Your dad said it would be rude not to attend after a year abroad. What you understood was that they wanted to show you off, and the party seemed to be the perfect occasion.

You gulp the remains of your drink and leave the empty glass on the nearer table. You open your mouth, about to ask when you will be heading out when your dad’s name comes from the crowd.

“Jonathan!” He exclaims in surprise, shaking the hand of the man that appears in front of him. “Natalie! I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Well, we didn’t know you were coming!” Natalie, or what you call her out of respect, Mrs. Fulger, kisses your mother’s cheeks before addressing you. “You’re back from your trip! How was it, darling?”

You deliver a polite smile to the Fulgers, saying how the trip was “absolutely fantastic” and “a truly enriching experience.”

“You must be proud of her.” Mr. Fulger tells your parents, placing his big hand on his son’s shoulder. “Chris will take a gap year after graduating. One last taste of freedom before joining the company.”

The Fulger marriage laughs and your parents join them, and in less than a minute you’re back to being ignored, business taking over the conversation. You awkwardly stand beside your mom until you decide it’s enough.

“I’ll get something to drink.” You excuse yourself. “I’ll be back.”

“Chris will be enchanted to go with you.”

His father pushes him forward slightly. Chris gives you his signature charming smile before saying: “Of course.”

You make your way towards the bar immersed in an awkward silence. Of all people, you had to bump into him.

“Are you liking this party so far?” 

“I’m bored to death.”

“Me too.” You tap the bar counter with your long nails, laughing at his honest answer. “How’s life going?”

“Good, it’s good.” He looks around, playing with the glass he’s holding. “I’m in the training process to start working in my father’s company. He wants me to get familiar with the business and its processes before stepping in.”

There’s nothing worse than inheriting a position in a family business, but that’s just your opinion.

“You must be excited.”

“I am, yeah.” Chris nods, taking a sip of his drink. Even if you’re both trying hard to ignore the elephant in the room, Chris gives in first. “Have you talked to Jennifer, by the way?”

“She’s my best friend, Chris.”

He gives you a half-smile, only realizing now how stupid his question must’ve sounded.

“She won’t return my calls or my texts. She has blocked me on every social media, she doesn’t even want to see me! I don’t know where we stand right now.”

You’re not sure of what to answer, afraid you may say the wrong thing. One thing you know, though, is that even if you’ll always be loyal to Jen, you must admit she’s handling this whole thing terribly wrong.

“I’m sure it sucks.”

Chris genuinely laughs for the first time tonight.

“Yeah, a little.” You laugh at his irony-filled tone, too, and the atmosphere feels much lighter now. “Relationships are so fucking complicated. Don’t ever get into one.”

“I’ll be fine.” You say, taking a sip of the drink the waiter has just served you. “It’s not like there’s a long line of men dying to date me.”

“Now, that’s surprising.” 

Much to your delight, he’s too invested in his problem to notice how the blood has rushed to your cheeks.

A certain someone comes to your mind and with him a question you’re dying to ask.

“Please, don’t take this the wrong way.” Chris straightens his back, shoving a hand into the pocket of his suit pants, nodding. “Have you and Jen argued due to a… third person?”

It’s just like when people yell at a character to not go into the room where the killer awaits. But it’s just you in the cinema, screaming at yourself to stop talking.

“Of course not! What the fuck?” Chris’ blue eyes open wide in shock as he reaches for his phone. “Did she tell you that? Does she think I’m cheating?”

“No, Chris.” You place a hand on his arm in an attempt to stop him from texting Jen, who will murder you if she finds out you have planted a new suspicion in Chris’ mind. “God, I’m so stupid, I’m sorry. It was just a question! I swear-”

“Hey.”

You aren’t sure if you should celebrate or bury a hole in the floor and hide when Yuta appears out of thin air, his eyes falling on Chris’ arm, where your hand is. You quickly move it away, which is exactly what is needed to make everything look suspicious.

“Hi.” Chris greets, not interested in Yuta’s presence at all. His head is elsewhere now that you’ve completely fucked up. “I’m leaving, I need to call her.”

Chris disappears in the crowd before you have the chance to say goodbye, leaving you behind with Yuta, who raises an eyebrow at you.

“Um, what was that?”

Whatever he’s insinuating offends you terribly. Do you look like the type to steal your best friends’ guys?

“That was nothing.” You snap. “He’s Jen’s boyfriend.”

“Ex-boyfriend.”

“It’s a rough patch, they’ll end up getting back together.”

“Hopefully, they won't.” Your heart drops at his remark, but Yuta’s too busy looking in the direction Chris has disappeared, resting an elbow on the bar. “I hate that guy.”

Chris has always seemed kind and very down to earth. You wonder what could he have possibly done to gain Yuta’s resentment. To that question, you’ve got a theory. And you’d hate being right.

“I think he’s nice.”

“Oh, you think he’s nice?” Yuta snorts at your words. “You don’t know him that well at all, then.”

Yuta glances around the room, which allows you to scan him for a while. He looks really handsome in a suit. He reminds you of those vintage Hollywood stars.

“Why do you hate Chris? Is it because you like Jennifer?”

The question shocks you both. Again, you’re alone in the cinema begging yourself to just shut the fuck up.

“What?” He lets out a laugh of disbelief. “What does Jen have to do with anything?”

“I don’t know...”

“Oh, you do know. What have you seen that made you think that?”

Congratulations! You’ve just dug your own grave.

“Nothing in particular.” You answer, shrugging. “You seem to get along really well, now you hate her boyfriend...”

“First of all, I don’t like Chris because he’s a racist piece of shit. And I get along really well with Johnny, too. Do you think I want to fuck him, too?”

You can feel the color draining from your face.

“I don’t know what you like.”

If there’s something you’ve learned about Yuta, it’s that he’s the straightforward type. He’s unbothered and an expert when it comes to turning around the conversation to make it beneficial for him. He’s something like a mastermind, you’d say.

“Do you like me?”

“What?!” You shriek, trying to hide your shaky voice with a laugh. “Absolutely not.”

“Why then would you ask me about Jen?” Yuta presses, tilting his head to the side. “Are you jealous?”

“I’m not! I was just curious!”

“You’re full of shit.” You’d be lying if you said you don’t find his smirk insanely attractive. “Just so you know, I wouldn’t mind. I would be very glad, actually.”

It’s at this point that your head starts spinning.

You see, you have never been confident. Out of the friend group, you’ve always been the shiest one. You don’t smile in pictures because you think your smile is ugly, and you don’t wear tight clothes because you hate your body.

You have had a single relationship in your life, at sixteen, and it crushed your self-esteem even further. A promise to yourself was made after that: no one would put you through that hell again.

Is that what Yuta is playing at? Making you believe he likes you just to laugh in your face once you take the bait?

He had seemed genuine when he defended you the night you met. Had it just been to give a good first impression?

You hold your purse tight, hold your head high.

“I hope the rest of your night goes well, Yuta.”

And you walk away with your dignity intact.

No reposting or translations allowed.

© epinebleue 2023

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💙💜🩷 99 Books for Bisexuality Visibility Month 🩷💜💙

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💜 How incredible is it that I made a list of 99 books for bisexual visibility month, KNOWING there are so many NOT featured on this list? I'm so proud to be bi. Having these characters and stories intertwine with mine warms my heart.

💜 What's your favorite book featuring bisexual characters?

💙 The Henna Wars - Adiba Jaigirdar 💙 Perfect on Paper - Sophie Gonzales 💙 Imogen, Obviously - Becky Albertalli 💙 Red, White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston 💙 Queens of Geek - Jen Wilde 💙 Just Your Local Bisexual Disaster - Andrea Mosqueda 💙 Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute - Talia Hibbert 💙 Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake - Alexis Hall 💙 A Merry Little Meet Cute - Julie Murphy & Sierra Simone

💜 Leah on the Offbeat - Becky Albertalli 💜 The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid 💜 Radio Silence - Alice Oseman 💜 The Gentleman's Guide to Vice and Virtue - Mackenzi Lee 💜 You Exist Too Much - Zaina Arafat 💜 Wolfsong - T.J. Klune 💜 The Pairing - Casey McQuiston 💜 Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail - Ashley Herring Blake 💜 Heartstopper - Alice Oseman

🩷 Going Bicoastal - Dahlia Adler 🩷 Some Girls Do - Jennifer Dugan 🩷 Hani & Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating - Adiba Jaigirdar 🩷 Autoboyography - Christina Lauren 🩷 Written in the Stars - Alexandria Bellefleur 🩷 They Both Die at the End - Adam Silvera 🩷 Cool for the Summer - Dahlia Adler 🩷 Delilah Green Doesn't Care - Ashley Herring Blake 🩷 One Last Stop - Casey McQuiston

💙 I'll Be the One - Lyla Lee 💙 Running With Lions - Julian Winters 💙 Take a Hint, Dani Brown - Talia Hibbert 💙 Felix Ever After - Kacen Callender 💙 Not Your Sidekick - C.B. Lee 💙 Ophelia After All - Racquel Marie 💙 Iron Widow - Xiran Jay Zhao 💙 Something to Talk About - Meryl Wilsner 💙 The Girls I've Been - Tess Sharpe

💜 Iris Kelly Doesn't Date - Ashley Herring Blake 💜 Never Ever Getting Back Together - Sophie Gonzales 💜 Her Royal Highness - Rachel Hawkins 💜 Call Me By Your Name - André Aciman 💜 I Wish You All the Best - Mason Deaver 💜 Mistakes Were Made - Meryl Wilsner 💜 Hang the Moon - Alexandria Bellefleur 💜 Kiss Her Once for Me - Alison Cochrun 💜 The Brightsiders - Jen Wilde

🩷 Wild Beauty - Anna-Marie McLemore 🩷 The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue - Victoria Schwab 🩷 Payback's a Witch - Lana Harper 🩷 A Dowry of Blood - S.T. Gibson 🩷 Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo 🩷 Dark Rise - C.S. Pacat 🩷 If This Gets Out - Sophie Gonzales & Cale Dietrich 🩷 Let's Talk About Love - Claire Kann 🩷 Carry On - Rainbow Rowell

💙 Under the Whispering Door - T.J. Klune 💙 I Kissed Shara Wheeler - Casey McQuiston 💙 Pumpkinheads - Rainbow Rowell 💙 Icebreaker - A.L. Graziadei 💙 This Poison Heart - Kalynn Bayron 💙 A Lot Like Adiós - Alexis Daria 💙 Sorry, Bro - Taleen Voskuni 💙 We Are Okay - Nina LaCour 💙 Count Your Lucky Stars - Alexandria Bellefleur

💜 Hot Dog Girl - Jennifer Dugan 💜 Verona Comics - Jennifer Dugan 💜 They Hate Each Other - Amanda Woody 💜 The Disasters - M.K. England 💜 The Raven Boys - Maggie Stiefvater 💜 You Should See Me in a Crown - Leah Johnson 💜 These Witches Don't Burn - Isabel Sterling 💜 My Dearest Darkest - Kayla Cottingham 💜 City of Shattered Light - Claire Winn

🩷 The Unbroken - C.L. Clark 🩷 Dread Nation - Justina Ireland 🩷 House of Hollow - Krystal Sutherland 🩷 Love & Other Disasters - Anita Kelly 🩷 Ace of Shades - Amanda Foody 🩷 The Lost Girls - Sonia Hartl 🩷 Of Fire and Stars - Audrey Coulthurst 🩷 This Is Kind of an Epic Love Story - Kacen Callender 🩷 Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe - Benjamin Alire Sáenz

💙 If You Still Recognise Me - Cynthia So 💙 Melt With You - Jennifer Dugan 💙 The Charm Offensive - Alison Cochrun 💙 That Summer Feeling - Bridget Morrissey 💙 The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School - Sonora Reyes 💙 The Luis Ortega Survival Club - Sonora Reyes 💙 The Fiancée Farce - Alexandria Bellefleur 💙 Flip the Script - Lyla Lee 💙 Role Playing - Cathy Yardley

💜 I Think I Love You - Auriane Desombre 💜 Truly, Madly, Deeply - Alexandria Bellefleur 💜 Gearbreakers - Zoe Hana Mikuta 💜 Finally Fitz - Marisa Kanter 💜 The Spirit Bares Its Teeth - Andrew Joseph White 💜 Margo Zimmerman Gets the Girl - Brianna R. Shrum & Sara Waxelbaum 💜 Late Bloomer - Mazey Eddings 💜 A Darker Shade of Magic - Victoria Schwab 💜 Love at First Set - Jennifer Dugan